


Saviour

by Bodge



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25955515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bodge/pseuds/Bodge
Summary: What if the men Shelby gave her baby to hadn't been the loving parents she thought they would be?
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I started back in 2012. I've been made aware that someone has taken it from fanfiction.net and posted it on here, so I thought I'd save them the trouble and post it myself. You might want to get comfortable. There's a lot!

Shelby shivered slightly and pulled the blanket tighter around her body, there'd been a brief powercut that morning and she'd stupidly forgotten to reset the timer on the heating before she left for work so she'd returned home after a long day to a freezing cold house. She reached for the wine glass that sat on the coffee table before relaxing into the soft cushions on the couch and tucking her feet underneath herself, listening to the rain as it pounded on the windows and the wind as it howled across the front porch, she always found something strangely calming in storms.

She was emptying the dishwasher a while later when there was a knock at the front door, so soft she almost missed it. Shelby placed the plate in her hand on the side and rushed to open the door, the weather was horrible and she didn't want whoever was at the door stood there for any longer than necessary. She froze in shock when she saw the young girl on her porch, she knew instantly that that girl was her daughter, the girl she'd only seen for a couple of moments almost fifteen years ago, the girl was her daughter and she didn't even know her name.

The girl said nothing but held out a large brown envelope to Shelby making the older woman come to her senses, "come in, come in, you must be freezing" she took the envelope and ushered the girl into the house as her mothering instincts took over and she noticed the girl had on a just a skirt and a thin jumper even though snow had been forecast for later that night, "I'm sorry" Shelby apologised, "I don't know your name."

"Rachel" the shaking girl whispered, "my name's Rachel. My fathers dropped me off here and asked me to give you that" she spoke softly as she gestured towards the envelope, her teeth chattering and her hands shaking as she spoke.

"Rachel" Shelby whispered to herself before shaking her head, "here, take this" Shelby passed Rachel the blanket she'd used earlier, glad that the heating had kicked in and the house had warmed up, she didn't want the first time she met her daughter to end with the girl getting ill. Rachel took the blanket and draped it loosely over her shoulders as Shelby pulled the papers from the envelope, Rachel hadn't looked, her fathers had told her not to.

Shelby's eyes scanned the top sheet of paper, she couldn't believe what she was reading, ' _had enough_... _brat_... _Florida_... _keep her_... _giving up parental rights_... _signed paperwork_ '. They were dumping the daughter they'd once wanted so much on her doorstep because they were bored of her, they'd not even left her with any belongings, just a small black bag that wouldn't hold much at all.

"Rachel" Shelby spoke softly, the name almost foreign on her tongue, "do you know who I am?" Rachel nodded but didn't say anything, "I'm the surrogate your fathers hired, I'm your birth Mom." Rachel nodded again, as soon as Shelby had opened the door Rachel had known, she'd seen herself in twenty years time, "do you know why your fathers dropped you off here?"

"They said they were going to Florida" she said quietly, her head bowed.

Shelby smiled sadly, her own eyes filling with tears, "I'm so sorry sweetheart, but you're welcome to stay with me, I'd like you to stay with me."

"I don't even know your name" Rachel whispered, "do I have to call you Mom?"

Shelby shook her head, "my name's Shelby, Shelby Corcoran, and I'd like it if you could call me Mom one day but I understand if you're not ready for that, so for now you can call me Shelby if you'd rather. I'm waffling" Shelby smiled, "let's get you upstairs, I'll show you to the guest... to your room and you can have a warm shower, you look freezing."

Rachel nodded, she was terribly cold but she hadn't wanted to inconvenience Shelby, she didn't want to come across as needy or demanding, she didn't want another parent to abandon her. "Here we are" Shelby smiled as she opened the door to a large, airy bedroom, "this will be your room. It's a little plain at the moment but we can go and get some things to make it a little more homely tomorrow." Rachel wasn't hearing what Shelby was saying, she was too busy taking things in, the walls were painted a warm cream colour apart from the wall behind the bed which was a rich coffee brown. The sheets on the bed were brown and teal and the duvet looked so warm and inviting all Rachel wanted to do was curl up and sleep for a week. There was a large window to the left of the bed and the wall to the foot of the bed housed a sliding door which Rachel assumed was the closet "and your bathroom is right across the hall..."

Rachel suddenly tuned into what Shelby was saying "my, my bathroom?"

Shelby nodded, "well it's the main bathroom really but I have an ensuite in my room so I never really use it, if I have guests over they tend to use the washroom downstairs." She saw Rachel looked a little overwhelmed and decided to give her some space, "I'll go run you a bath and get some clean towels". She looked at Rachel's bag, "do you have something warm to change into?"

Rachel's eyes darted nervously around the room, she didn't want to admit to her mom that she didn't really have anything, that she'd never really had anything, "I, my, it's..."

"Don't worry" Shelby interrupted with a smile, "I'll find you some pyjamas or something. I'll get you some soap and shampoo and things too, why don't you hang out here for a minute, I'll be right back."

Rachel nodded as Shelby left the room, she stood rooted to the spot for a moment before walking over to the bed and stroking the sheets carefully so as not to wrinkle them, they were the softest thing she'd felt in longer than she could remember. She walked over to the window next, she couldn't see much because of the rain but from what she made out the room had a view over a large garden. "I've put you some towels and some pyjamas on the radiator in the bathroom" Rachel jumped as Shelby spoke, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" she walked over to the girl and placed a comforting hand on her arm, pulling it back when Rachel flinched, "I'll make a start on dinner while you're warming up, is there anything you want? Anything you don't like, any allergies?"

"I, I'm vegan" the lie rolled easily off her tongue, "but you don't have to go to any trouble, I'm not really hungry."

It was the most Rachel had spoken since she arrived, "I don't mind" Shelby smiled softly, "I don't have much vegan food in the house but I have veggies, pasta, rice. I could make us a stir fry, would you prefer rice or cous cous?"

Rachel shrugged, "I don't really mind." She'd been told never to make herself an inconvenience, no one should ever have to go to any trouble because of her.

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I'll rustle something up. The bath should be nearly ready but don't rush, take as long as you need and come down when you're ready." Shelby paused in the doorway for a minute before turning to face Rachel and smiling softly, "if you need anything just yell okay."

Shelby smiled as Rachel came into the room almost half an hour later, the young girl almost drowning in her mother's pyjamas, Rachel wasn't just petite, she was borderline skeletal and Shelby knew she had to do something about that, "sit down" Shelby said with a smile, "this won't be long, it's nothing special I'm afraid, just some rice and veggies, we'll have to go grocery shopping and pick up some things for you."

Rachel didn't lift her gaze from the table she was sat at, "you don't have to go to any trouble for me."

"It's no trouble" Shelby smiled as she turned off the hob and stepped over to the refrigerator, "would you like water or apple juice?" she asked as she gazed into the empty space, she really did need to go shopping!

"Water's fine" Rachel replied quietly, "is there anything I can help with."

"You could get us some cutlery, it's in the top drawer over there" she gestured to the drawers by the fridge as she poured water into two large glasses, "knives and forks are fine unless you want a spoon."

They ate in silence and almost too soon for Shelby the clock on the wall read 10.30 and she couldn't hold back a yawn. She was almost too scared to sleep, terrified that she'd wake up tomorrow to find that this was all some bizarre dream. Another half an hour and she could barely keep her eyes open, "I'm going to head up to bed" she said reluctantly, "you're welcome to stay up and watch tv if you like."

Rachel shook her head, "could I go to bed too?"

"Sure" Shelby smiled, reaching for the remote and turning off the tv, "you don't have to ask to go to bed. Why don't you go up and get ready, I've put you a toothbrush and toothpaste in your bathroom, I'll just lock up down here and turn everything off then I'll come in and say goodnight."

Rachel still felt like she was dreaming as she stood in the bathroom. Hot water had been a luxury in her father's house, a privilege she'd had to earn but now, now she had her own bathroom, with a bath and a shower, a toilet and a sink. She shook her head as she realised how long she'd been standing there and she quickly began to brush her teeth and splash some water onto her face. Shelby wanted to say goodnight to her and Rachel didn't want to keep the woman waiting.

She was sat on the edge of her bed when Shelby came into the room, "everything okay?" Shelby asked. Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "are you going to get into bed or do you sleep sitting up?"

"Sorry" Rachel bowed her head and climbed under the sheets.

"It's okay" Shelby straightened the sheets once Rachel was settled, "do you have everything you need?"

"Yes thank you."

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning then. My room's right down the hall if you need anything."

"Thank you" Rachel said softly, "good night."

Shelby smiled before flicking off the light and leaving the room, "good night darling."

Rachel woke with a jump at 3am, it was the same dream as usual, and like always the sheets around her were soaked through and she knew she'd blown it, Shelby wouldn't want her now. She slid from the bed and curled herself into a ball on the floor in the corner of the room, her fathers were right, she didn't deserve to sleep in a bed.

Shelby woke at 3.07 to gentle sobbing from down the hall, it took her sleepy brain a moment to work out what the noise was but as the clock changed to 3.08 she flew from her bed and raced to her daughter. She was confused when she saw the bed empty and flicked on the light only to find a wet patch on the sheets and her daughter hiding in the corner, "Rachel" she spoke softly as she crouched down to her level, "are you okay darling".

Shelby reached out a hand to tuck Rachel's hair back from her face and Rachel flinched, "I'm sorry" she sobbed, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"It's okay sweetheart, accidents happen." She rubbed her hand up and down Rachel's cold arm, "did you have a bad dream?" Rachel nodded, "do you want to talk about it?" Rachel shook her head and Shelby sighed, "Okay. Why don't you go get cleaned up and I'll sort this out, I'll get you something clean to change into." Rachel nodded and silently left the room with her head bowed.

Shelby walked back into the room after leaving some clean pyjamas outside the bathroom. She stripped the bed and sighed, she didn't have another set of clean sheets for the guest room, she usually had time to launder this set between guest visits. "I don't have any clean sheets for this bed" Shelby explained as Rachel walked back into the room, "mine would be too big."

"It's okay" Rachel whispered, "I'll sleep on the floor."

Shelby frowned, "don't be silly, you'll get a bad back, and you'd probably freeze, you can share with me for tonight and we'll pick up some more bedding tomorrow."

"What, what if..."

"Does it happen more than once?" Shelby guessed what Rachel was so worried about.

Rachel nodded, "sometimes."

Shelby smiled sadly, "I'll lay a towel down, and I've got plenty of spare sheets for my bed" she put her arm around Rachel's shoulder and resisted the urge to kiss her forehead, "come on, we've got a long day of shopping ahead of us tomorrow, we should get some sleep." She climbed into the bed and held open the sheets for Rachel, "come on" she smiled when the girl hesitated, "I don't bite and I promise not to hog the covers" she joked as Rachel finally gave in and climbed into the bed beside her mother, "Night Rach" Shelby wanted nothing more than to hold Rachel in her arms as she drifted off to sleep but she didn't want to overwhelm the girl, "sleep well", she flicked off the light and settled herself under the covers.

"Thanks" Rachel smiled into the darkness, "good night."

Rachel woke the next morning to find herself playing little spoon to Shelby's big spoon, she cursed herself for seeking the woman out in her sleep but it seemed like they'd both met in the middle of the bed and now Rachel was laid with her back against Shelby's chest, her head was under Shelby's chin and Shelby's arms were wrapped around Rachel's middle. Rachel sighed, it was a long time since anyone had held her and the thought brought tears to her eyes. She blinked them back and then noticed the clock on the wall, it was almost 10am, it was the latest she'd ever slept and it was the longest she'd slept without having a nightmare and she was still dry. She held her breath when she felt Shelby shift behind her, "Mmm, morning" Shelby mumbled sleepily without letting go of Rachel, "did you sleep okay?"

"Yes thank you".

Shelby still didn't let go of her hold on Rachel, "We should get up" she still didn't move, "but I'm too comfortable." It was then she realised how tightly she was holding Rachel, "Oh, I'm sorry" she moved her hands, "I didn't mean to smother you. I guess I was a little scared I'd wake up to find I'd dreamt about having you here" she rolled onto her back and stretched.

"It's okay" Rachel whispered as she too rolled onto her back, "I, I didn't mind."

Shelby reached for Rachel's hand under the covers and squeezed it gently before slipping their fingers together, "I missed you you know, every day I missed you, I know it's not under the best circumstances but I'm so glad you're here, I'm so glad I've got the chance to have you in my life." She wiped at her eyes, "but anyway, we should get up and get ready or we'll never get anything done. We've got a lot of things to get today, we'll have breakfast at the mall." She paused for a minute, "do you need something to wear? It'll be cold out, do you have something warm to wear? A coat? Some jeans?" Rachel shook her head and Shelby briefly wondered what sort of men she'd let bring up her baby but she tried not to let her anger at the two men show. She stood from the bed and opened the door to her large walk in wardrobe, "come on" she gestured for Rachel to follow her, "I'm sure we'll find you something to wear in here."

All Shelby's trousers were far too big for Rachel, the girl obviously hadn't inherited the 'Corcoran curves', so she ended up wearing black leggings over thick woolly tights and a knitted jumper dress, "Okay" Shelby grabbed her keys and bag once she'd found Rachel a coat and some boots, "let's go. What do you want to get first? Some clothes or things for your room?"

"I, I don't have any money" Rachel admitted, her fathers didn't give her an allowance and she only got new clothes when she really, really needed them and even then everything came from a second hand store. The most expensive thing she owned were her shoes and they'd cost just ten dollars.

"So" Shelby shrugged before looking over at Rachel, "you, oh God no" she realised what Rachel was thinking, "you won't be buying a thing, I'm your mother Rachel, I've not seen you for almost fifteen years. I'm going to spoil you rotten." Rachel burst into tears at that moment and Shelby was quick to drop her bag and pull Rachel into her arms, "Oh Darling" she sighed, "it's okay, you're okay" she stood in the hallway holding Rachel until Rachel had nothing left, "Rachel" Shelby whispered softly, "I, I don't know what went on with your fathers, I think we should talk about that but I won't force you into telling me anything you don't want to tell me." She took a deep breath, "I don't know what went on, I don't, I don't know anything about how you were brought up but baby I do know that all I want to do is love you and take care of you. I don't mind if you wake me up at 3am because you've had a bad dream and you want me to hold you, I don't mind you asking me for twenty dollars so you can go to the movies with your friends. Whatever you need I'll provide for you, whatever you want, I'll be honest I'll probably give you too" she chuckled slightly, "I see you and I, I can't believe that you're here, I just want to hold you and kiss you, I want you to be happy here, I want you to be comfortable with me, I want you to be comfortable enough to call this your home. Consider this your new start Rachel, whatever went on before is over. A new chapter starts today." Rachel nodded against Shelby's chest, "do you still want to go out?" Shelby asked, "we can stay at home if you'd rather?"

"I don't mind, whatever you'd like to do is fine."

Shelby shook her head, "No it's not, What I want to do doesn't matter, today we do what you want to do."

Rachel looked up at the woman who still had her in a warm embrace, the woman who had shown her more love in the past ten minutes than her two fathers combined in the past ten years. "Could we go out?"

Shelby dropped a kiss to Rachel's hair, "sure thing, let's go get some breakfast first, I know a great little place on the way to the mall."

A little while later Shelby pulled up outside a small cafe and lead Rachel to a table by the window, "here" she passed Rachel a menu, "order whatever you want darling." She saw Rachel smile slightly, "what?" she smiled back.

"You called me darling" Rachel whispered, "and earlier you called me sweetheart".

"Is that okay?" Shelby asked, "they just seem to slip out when I'm talking to you, I can try and stop though if, if you don't like them."

"No" Rachel smiled, "it's okay."

"Good" Shelby grinned, "now lets order some food I'm starving."

"Could I..." Rachel shook her head and began to push her food around her plate, "it doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?" Shelby raised an eyebrow before taking a drink of her coffee.

"Yeah" Rachel began pushing beans around her plate, "it doesn't matter."

"Go on" Shelby smiled, "humour me, what were you going to say?"

"Could I maybe try some of your sausage?" She didn't know what possessed her to ask, Shelby was going to kill her, she'd been kind enough to buy her food and Rachel wasn't being grateful for what she'd been given, and she'd asked to eat some of Shelby's food too, she really was in for it now.

Shelby frowned, she could have sworn Rachel was vegan which she thought explained the girls choosing beans on toast whilst Shelby had a full breakfast, "didn't you say you were a vegan?"

Rachel nodded, "I'm sorry, my fathers, they..." her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey, it's okay" she cut off a small piece of meat and held her fork out to Rachel, "what do you think?" she asked once she'd had time to eat it.

Rachel thought for a moment, "it, it's nice."

Shelby smiled, "here" she slid the sausage she'd not started eating onto Rachel's plate along with a piece of bacon, "try some bacon too."

"Okay" Shelby smiled as they entered the mall almost an hour after they'd left the house, "we need to get you kitted out for winter, where do you want to go first?"

Rachel shrugged, "I don't know, I erm, I've never bought clothes new before."

Shelby smiled sadly and lead Rachel towards the nearest shop, "we'll start here, we can go up one side and down the other and we can go in every shop if we need to. A warm coat and some sturdy boots are the most important things, but if you see anything you like pick it up, I don't care how much it costs as long as its reasonable." She saw the frown on Rachel's face, "try and keep pants under $100 and shirts under $50. Each that is. I want you to get at the very least three of four outfits. And of course pyjamas and underwear. Whatever you need darling." Rachel's eyes darted to the clearance section, "buy things you like, not things that are the cheapest."

Rachel nodded and took a moment to look around the shop. It was huge, she had no idea where to even begin looking, she couldn't look Shelby in the eye, "could you help me pick some things out?" She asked quietly. She was in a store she's heard her peers talk about frequently, a store she could only ever dream of looking into. Any of the other girls at her school would be in heaven knowing they had an almost unlimited amount of money to spend on new clothes but Rachel was lost.

"Of course" Shelby answered Rachel's question with a smile, "do you prefer pants or skirts? I'd like you to get at least a couple of pairs of pants for when the snow comes but we can get you skirts and thick tights for every day if you prefer?"

Rachel shrugged softly, "I could never afford pants" she admitted and Shelby had to blink back tears.

"Okay, well how about we walk around the shop and pick up everything that you see and like, then we can go into the fitting rooms, you can try things on and we'll go from there. Once we know what sort of things you like and what suits you it'll make it easier on the other stores."

It was almost five hours later when Rachel and Shelby finally left the mall laden down with bags. Shelby was pleased that Rachel had picked out several outfits as well as a thick padded coat, a hat, scarf and gloves and a couple of pairs of shoes suitable for the winter. She'd also forced Rachel into picking out some new bed linen and accessories for her bedroom and Shelby planned on ordering her daughter a laptop and a cell phone from the internet that evening.

Rachel on the other hand was worried, Shelby had easily spent over a thousand dollars just on clothes, she couldn't even begin to work out how many hours of chores she'd have to do to work that off. She was also concerned about the new bed linen she'd had to choose. Her fathers got angry if she had an accident sleeping on an old blanket, how would Shelby react if it happened in her brand new bedding.

"Hey, take a deep breath, are you okay?" Rachel didn't realise she'd started to hyperventilate until she felt Shelby's hand on her back, "take some deep breaths, you're okay." Shelby comforted Rachel until her breathing returned to normal, "are you okay?"

Rachel shook her head, "its too much" she gestured to the bags, "we need to take it all back, I can't pay you back I'm sorry."

Shelby sighed, "I told you before Rach, I don't expect you to pay me back. This is what mothers do sweetheart, I don't expect you to pay me for anything whilst you're in my house. Maybe if you stay around after high school and live with me when you have a job we can talk about you maybe giving me something towards the bills but that's a long way off. I am your mother, it's my job to give you food and clothes and a safe place to live and that's what I'm going to do." She smiled sadly at Rachel, "come on, let's get home, we can talk about this there."


	2. Chapter 2

Once they were back home Shelby helped Rachel hang all her new clothes in the closet and set out the things she'd chosen for her room, "there we go" Shelby smiled as she fluffed the final pillow, the bed now made up in the new sheets, "much more homely. We can look at redecorating once you've had time to settle in a little."

"Thank you" Rachel smiled as she stepped from the closet, "where would you like me to put these?" she asked, gesturing to the empty bags she held in her hands.

"Give them here" Shelby took them from her daughter, "I'll put them downstairs. I keep them in the kitchen, I'll show you where and then if you ever need a bag for anything you can just help yourself." Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "how about we go get a drink and then sit down and have that chat?"

"O…okay" Rachel's face fell. She had no idea what Shelby wanted to talk about and that terrified her. She knew all along that sooner or later Shelby would start asking questions but she didn't realise it would come so soon. She frowned slightly as looked round, realising she was sat on the couch with a glass of juice in her hand. She couldn't even remember leaving her room. Wasn't Shelby going to show her something?

"Rach, Rachel" Rachel snapped her attention back to her mother when she heard her calling her name, "are you okay?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, looking up at Shelby who was sat on the coffee table in front of her but not quite meeting her eye, "sorry."

"It's okay. I just thought, well we don't really know anything about each other, and I'm sure there are things you want to know about me so I thought it might be a good idea to try and get to know each other a little better, 20 questions so to speak but not limited to 20. I'm rambling again, sorry."

Rachel smiled, "I, it's okay, I ramble sometimes too."

Shelby returned the smile, "well now you know where you got it from" she laughed slightly. "So what do you want to know about me?"

Rachel thought for a moment, she didn't want to ask anything too personal in case she angered her, "Erm... where do you work?" she finally asked.

"Carmel High School, I teach English and I'm the show choir coach." She waited to see if Rachel said anything in response and when she didn't Shelby took it as her cue to ask, "what's your favourite subject at school?" She decided to play it safe for now, there were several, more personal questions that Shelby wanted to know the answers to but she knew she had to gain Rachel's trust first.

"I like music" Rachel said with her head bowed, "and English". It was true, music and English were her two favourite subjects with biology coming in a close third but now she knew what her mother did she didn't want her to think she was just saying that to please her.

"What a coincidence" Shelby laughed, "I was a complete science nerd at your age. I loved Chemistry and Physics. I only really got into music when I was about sixteen and I tagged along on a friends birthday trip to New York and we saw almost everything that was on Broadway at the time, or at least it felt like we did. It was then I knew I wanted to be on stage but I didn't think Chemistry and Physics were good minors for a major in music theatre so I ended up doing English. I thought it might help with scripts and things." She waited for Rachel to ask her something before prompting, "it's your turn."

"Do you have any siblings?" Rachel played it safe once again.

"Yeah, two brothers and a sister, Matt, Luke and Amy. I'm the oldest, Matt's three years younger than me, Luke's five years younger and Amy's almost nine years younger than I am. What's your favourite colour?"

"Purple" Rachel said without hesitating, "what's yours?"

"I like purple too" Shelby nodded, "it seems like we're more alike than I ever thought."

They went backwards and forwards for almost an hour before Shelby moved on to the things she really wanted to talk about, "last night" Shelby approached the subject cautiously, "does that happen often?"

Rachel took a shaky breath, "I'm sorry, I, I have this nightmare sometimes, it, it's not really vivid but it, I don't know, I can't stop it and I can't wake up. I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for" Shelby said sincerely, accidents happen to everyone, I just wondered if it was something you needed to see a doctor about but if it's because of a nightmare then I doubt it's a medical problem." She could see that Rachel didn't believe her when she said everybody had accidents so she tried to reassure her, "I wet myself when I was pregnant with you" she told Rachel, continuing her story when she saw Rachel look up at her, "It was about five weeks before you were born" she began to explain, "you woke me up, you were fidgeting like crazy, I used to think you were tap dancing in there or something. I tried singing to you, it usually calmed you down but it didn't work so I rolled over and you rolled onto my bladder. I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to get out of bed but I did, I'd just stood up and you moved again and I couldn't hold it, I wet myself."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it wasn't your fault, it was just one of those things, it's not like you did it on purpose or anything." They sat in silence for a while before Shelby spoke again, "Rachel, I, I need to ask, are you, or have you ever been sexually active?" She was pretty certain Rachel had been neglected by her fathers but she needed to know how far they'd gone but she didn't want to push the girl, Rachel would talk about her fathers when she was ready.

"No" Rachel shook her head, "I'm still a virgin."

"Okay" Shelby put her hand on Rachel's knee, "I'm going to make you an appointment with a paediatrician, I'm pretty certain you're underweight but I want to make sure there's nothing else wrong and that all your vaccinations are up to date. I was going to make you an appointment with my gynaecologist but if you're not having sex yet we can leave that for a while" she smiled softly, "have you started your periods yet?"

Rachel shook her head, "no, not yet."

"We can pick some things up when we go grocery shopping" Shelby told Rachel, "put them in your bathroom for you so we're ready." She smiled, she didn't want Rachel to feel like this was a lecture, "we can mention it to the doctor if you're worried" Rachel nodded and Shelby continued, "I'm not going to give you a lecture or tell you about the birds and the bees because I'm sure you've had all that at school right?" Rachel nodded and Shelby continued, "so I won't repeat all that but I know that this is a confusing time for you and I want you to know that I'm here for you, if you have any questions about your body, or about boys, about anything, any questions, or if you're worried about anything no matter how embarrassing you think it is, you can come to me okay, any time, night or day I'll drop anything for you."

Rachel nodded, "you don't have to, you must be busy, I'll try not to bother you."

"No" Shelby said a little harsher than she meant to, "I want you to bother me. I don't want you to feel like you can't come to me because you can Rachel, if I'm busy and you want to talk I'll make time for you, you are my daughter and I want you to forget everything your fathers told you because from now on you are my number one priority, if you're not happy I'll drop everything to change that. I know this is going to be a big learning curve for both of us and I don't expect us to go from being strangers to mother and daughter over night but I hope you'll work with me, I hope you'll let me in and learn to trust me because I'm not going anywhere sweetheart" she took Rachel's hand and squeezed it softly, "even when you're forty with a family of your own I will never be more than a phone call away. I know how tough it is growing up and I feel lucky that I had an amazing mother who I could talk to about anything and I hope one day you'll feel like that towards me, I want you to be able to tell me you've met a really great guy and you're thinking about having sex with him, I want you to be able to talk to me about contraception and drugs and alcohol and anything else that might be on your mind. I get that it might be hard for a while but promise me you'll try, if there's something on your mind you feel like you can't approach me about write me a letter, send me a text, let me start the conversation. I know I'm rambling on but I just" a single tear rolled down Shelby's cheek, "I just want you to know that I hate that I've not been there Rachel and I love you so much, I, I just want to show you how much I love you, how much I've always loved you."

Tears were rolling steadily down both Rachel and Shelby's cheeks by the time Rachel finally spoke, "could I, could I maybe have a hug?"

Shelby was quick to pull Rachel onto her lap, cradling her like a baby she began to rock her crying daughter, "you never have to ask for a hug darling."

"I missed you" Rachel whispered as she began to cry harder, "I never knew who you were but I missed you."

"Oh sweetheart" Shelby sighed as she rubbed Rachel's back, "you've got me now and I'm not going anywhere." She felt her shirt get damp and Rachel clung to the thin fabric as she cried, "shh" she continued rocking and rubbing at Rachel's back, "you let it out, let it all out."

"I, I'm, so...rry" Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she sobbed.

Shelby finally gave in and kissed Rachel's head, "you've got nothing to be sorry for" they sat for a while before Shelby began to get uncomfortable and she stood from the coffee table, easily lifting Rachel in her arms.

"What.." Rachel was confused as she felt Shelby lift her up.

"I thought the sofa would be more comfortable than the coffee table" she smiled as she sat on the sofa and settled Rachel back in her lap, "I mean it Rachel, I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to be there whenever you need me, and I'll be honest I'm probably going to be around when you don't want me to be. You're stuck with me forever now" she said with a smile. She saw Rachel yawn, "close your eyes baby, get some sleep, I'll still be here when you wake up."

"I'm sat on you" Rachel whispered.

"Are you comfortable?"

Rachel nodded, "but you must..."

Shelby shook her head, "if you're comfortable then I'm fine too." She briefly took one arm from around Rachel and reached down the side of the sofa to pull the lever that lifted the foot rest and made her seat recline, "come on" she pulled over the blanket she and Rachel had used the previous day and wrapped it around them both, "I could do with a nap too."

Rachel didn't know what time it was when she woke but she could see it was dark outside as well as inside. She shut her eyes again she heard Shelby sigh, Shelby was still holding her tightly and Rachel didn't want to give that up just yet. "I shouldn't have given you away" Shelby whispered as she ran her fingers gently through Rachel's hair, "I should have fought for you. I should have torn up that paper and taken you home from the hospital myself. I love you so much baby, I hope you can see that, I hope I never let you down." Rachel had to screw her eyes shut to stop her own tears from falling. She already trusted Shelby so much and it hadn't even been 24 hours since her fathers had left her on the woman's doorstep and Rachel hated herself, she hated herself for being so open with her mother, so trusting, so weak, but what she hated even more was that a big part of her was almost waiting for Shelby to get bored, to find out how annoying she was, a part of her was waiting for Shelby to leave too.

"Rach" Shelby shook Rachel slowly, "Rachel, wake up darling".

Rachel groaned and stretched as she pretended to wake up, "what time is it?"

Shelby made no effort to move Rachel from her lap, "it's 6.30, if you sleep any longer you might not sleep tonight. Do you feel any better now?"

Rachel nodded, "I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to cry so much."

"It's okay" Shelby kissed Rachel's head, "you can cry all you like, it can be pretty cathartic. I always feel better after a good cry, it makes me feel lighter too but I suspect if you got any lighter you'd float away" Shelby joked. Rachel was shocked, her mother had just admitted that she still cried, something her fathers had always told her only babies did, "I'm getting hungry" Shelby said a while later, "would you like to help me cook something? I don't have much in until we go grocery shopping tomorrow but I'm sure we could rustle something up."

Rachel smiled genuinely, "that would be good" she reluctantly stood from Shelby's lap, "could I use the bathroom first?"

"Of course" Shelby stood and stretched, "you don't need to ask to go to the bathroom, I'll be in the kitchen when you're done." Shelby was stood by the freezer when Rachel came back into the room, "how do you feel about trying chicken?" she asked, "we know you like sausage and bacon, but if you'd rather not then that's okay too." She said quickly, not wanting Rachel to feel forced into anything.

"Chicken sounds good."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I thought we could have it with potatoes and vegetables, so why don't you make a start on peeling and chopping" Shelby gestured to the vegetables she'd put on the sideboard, "I'll put the chicken on and then come help you." Shelby put the chicken under the grill and then moved to stand beside Rachel, chopping the vegetables her daughter had peeled and throwing them into a pan ready to cook, "what made you say you were vegan?" Shelby finally asked the question that had been playing on her mind since that morning.

"My fathers told me to tell people I was a vegan" Rachel whispered, "it was mainly a reason for not eating lunch, they never gave me lunch money and it wasn't often that we had food in the house for me to make something to take with me."

"Okay, well we'll be going grocery shopping tomorrow so you'll have to decide whether you want to buy things from the store to take to school or if you'd rather I gave you lunch money. From now on you get three meals a day at the very least. I don't want you to ever worry about going hungry and if there's ever anything on your plate that you don't like then just say so and we'll find you something else to eat.

"Thank you" Rachel whispered, her head still bowed as she peeled the final carrot. It broke Shelby's heart, no child should ever have to feel lucky for being given three square meals a day. When she was growing up there was always food on the table, she was lucky that her mom didn't go out to work and most days of the week Shelby came home from school to the smell of something amazing coming from the kitchen. She knew she had a huge amount of money saved in the bank for a rainy day, and not for the first time in the past 24 hours Shelby found herself thinking of resigning so she would be able to spend as much time as possible with her beautiful daughter.

Dinner passed silently like it had the previous night and it was only after Rachel had spent almost five minutes pushing pieces of food around her plate that Shelby asked if she was finished, "I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, stabbing a piece of chicken and some potato and forcing them into her mouth.

"Hey" Shelby reached across the table and laid her hand on Rachel's, "I didn't mean it like that. I was just going to clear away the plates, that's all darling."

Rachel looked shocked, "but, but I haven't cleared my plate."

"Have you had enough?"

Rachel bowed her head, "I should be grateful for what you've given me, I shouldn't be wasting your food."

"Rachel, baby, if you're full I would much rather throw some food in the bin than have you force feed yourself and end up making yourself sick. In this house food is neither a punishment nor a reward okay, if you're hungry you eat, if you're not hungry you don't. If you've had enough now we'll clear the plates away, if you feel hungry later you can have some toast or some cereal or something before you go up to bed okay, and you're welcome to help yourself to anything at any time. If you wake up at 3am and want a snack come get something. If I have to work late and you're here alone make yourself dinner if you want to." She moved around the table and gently lifted Rachel's chin so the girl had no choice but to look her mother in the eye, "baby" Shelby wiped at Rachel's damp cheeks, "I promise you that I will never, not allow you food. I can't promise you many things darling, but I can promise you will always have food and water, a safe place to sleep at night and my unconditional love. I would go without to make sure you didn't, so you don't need to worry about that any more."

Rachel looked at Shelby, her eyes full of unshed tears, "thank you."

"There's no need to thank me" Shelby hugged Rachel before reaching for the kitchen roll and wiping at Rachel's tears, "come on" Shelby pulled Rachel to her feet, "lets go watch a movie or something before we go to bed."

"But the dishes haven't be..."

"It doesn't matter" Shelby interrupted Rachel, "they'll still be there tomorrow."

It was a little after 10pm when Rachel asked if she could go to bed, a request which Shelby granted before reminding Rachel she didn't need to ask. They watched the end of the movie before walking upstairs together. "Okay, I've put the mattress protector on the bed and the spare sheets are in the top drawer right here" Shelby gestured to the drawers, "I really don't mind if you wake me up to help you change the sheets if you need to change them, but I understand if you don't want to, I bought some disinfectant wipes, I'll leave them here" she placed them on top of the drawers, "give the mattress protector a wipe before you put the clean sheets on and put your dirty laundry in here" she gestured to one of the two laundry baskets they'd bought specifically so Rachel would have somewhere to put the sheets if she had an accident, "there's no need to put them in the washing machine straight away, put them in here and we can sort them out in the morning, and if you don't want to mess about changing sheets then come and get in with me, I won't mind."

Rachel nodded, "okay" she whispered as she climbed in between the sheets and allowed Shelby to tuck her in slightly, "thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, darling." She kissed Rachel's head, "Good night, I've just got a couple of things to do downstairs, but then I'll be right down the hall if you need me."

Rachel nodded as Shelby moved to the door, "could you not close the door all the way?" she asked quietly.

Shelby nodded, "of course, I can leave the light on in the hall too if you think that might help you sleep?"

Rachel nodded, she hated knowing that she was behaving like a child but she remembered what she and Shelby had spoken about earlier, "yes please."

"Okay, maybe we could get you a dimmer light bulb for your light" Shelby gestured to the lamp by the bed, "have a bright one at one side for when you're reading in bed or whatever and one that isn't so bright on the other side to help you sleep."

Rachel nodded, "I think that would help" she knew Shelby wouldn't tease her or 'punish' her for not being able to sleep in the dark.

"I might have something in the garage, I'll go look tomorrow but I'll leave the hall light on tonight, now try not to worry about anything, you're safe here and unless you need anything I'll see you in the morning." She walked over to the bed and kissed Rachel's forehead again, "I love you."

Rachel smiled into the semi darkness but waited for Shelby to leave the room before whispering, "I love you too Mom."

Once she was sure Rachel was settled Shelby headed back downstairs to her office, she added Rachel to her medical insurance before ordering a laptop and a cellphone for the girl. She knew that Rachel would try and refuse the gifts but Shelby planned on telling her the cellphone was so Shelby could always find out where she was and the laptop was for homework. Shelby checked her emails and then spent a while browsing the internet before ordering an ipod for Rachel. The girl had said she loved music and as it was only a few weeks til both her birthday and Christmas and Shelby knew it would make a perfect gift. Shelby tapped her fingers on the desk as she thought about the holidays, she was pretty sure that it had been a long time since Rachel celebrated anything. Would she want to celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah? Would she be overwhelmed by Shelby's family? Would she rather stay home and do something just the two of them. Shelby yawned as she flicked off the computer, she'd have to talk to Rachel about it so there was no point worrying now.

Shelby slowly climbed the stairs and changed into her pyjamas before brushing her teeth, despite the fact she and Rachel had taken a nap that afternoon she was exhausted, all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep until Monday, but first she wanted to check on Rachel. Rachel looked so peaceful as she slept and Shelby hoped that one day the girl would look that relaxed when she was awake too. Shelby sat on the edge of the bed and gently brushed a stray piece of hair back from the sleeping girls face. She knew that the next couple of days would be hectic, she needed to see her solicitor and there would be doctors visits and probably meetings with social workers and that even in the long run things wouldn't be easy but she knew that in the end, whatever it took, however much it cost her, it would be worth it, not only to have Rachel in her life but to show the girl that she deserved so much more, emotionally and physically than her fathers had ever given her.

"You are so beautiful" Shelby whispered as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair. "I can't believe I helped make you, I can't believe you're the same tiny baby I gave away. I never forgot you" she whispered, "I thought of you every single day but you, you are so much more amazing than in my dreams. I know, I don't know. I don't know you at all, I don't know what your fathers did but I know, I know I'll try to be better than them. I'll try never to let you down. I want you to always know that you're loved. I want you to feel safe. I want you to be able to grow into the beautiful young woman you deserve to be. My beautiful girl" Shelby sighed sleepily, "my beautiful, beautiful girl. I love you so much and whatever you do I'll be so proud. I just want you to be happy darling. I hope I make you happy."

Rachel sighed in her sleep and rolled over as if she was seeking out Shelby in her sleep, ' _ten more minutes_ ' Shelby thought to herself, 'I'll just sit with her for ten more minutes and then I'll go to bed'


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel woke the next morning to find herself, once again, being cuddled by Shelby. She frowned as she tried to remember when she sought out her mother but after she gave her brain a minute to wake up she realised she was in the bed she could now call her own. She basked for a moment in the feeling, something most people would take for granted, she was laying on a comfy mattress under a warm duvet in her mothers arms. It was only once that thought had passed that she realised, for the first time in far longer than she could remember she'd slept right through the night without a nightmare, she shuffled slightly before smiling to herself, the bed beneath her was dry. What was it about Shelby that made her feel so safe? She'd known the woman for less than a weekend yet she already felt so safe, so loved. She felt like she was finally home. Rachel smiled as Shelby sighed happily and somehow wriggled closer to her daughter. Rachel glanced over to the clock, it was almost 8.30 on a Sunday morning, if she'd have been with her fathers she'd have been doing chores for nearly two hours now and part of her wondered if she should get up and do something to help Shelby.

"Stop thinking so loudly. I can hear your brain ticking." Shelby's sleepy voice made Rachel jump.

"I'm sorry" Rachel was quick to apologise, she didn't want to anger her mother.

"Don't be" Shelby mumbled, "do you want to talk about whatever's going through your head?"

"No" Rachel shook her head, "I, I don't, it's okay"

"Okay" Shelby shifted slightly so she could kiss Rachel's forehead, "now let's go back to sleep. New house rule, Rachel and Momma sleep til noon on the weekends, or at least 10.30"

"I need to use the bathroom" Rachel whispered. Shelby reluctantly loosened her grip on her daughter, "don't be long" she mumbled, "you're like my own snugly hot water bottle." Shelby waited for Rachel to come back to bed before taking hold of her once again, "do you want to get up?"

"It's only eight thirty fi..."

"It doesn't matter" Shelby said softly, "I'm not going to force you to stay in bed, if you want to get up then we can get up. We need to go grocery shopping anyway."

Rachel sighed, "I'm sorry I've stopped you sleeping in this weekend"

"Nonsense. I'd get up at 5am every day if it meant you were happy."

Rachel sighed again, "I guess I'm just used to not getting much sleep."

Shelby's eyes were already closing, "I'm sure we can change that" she mumbled, "just lay with me for a while?"

Rachel nodded, she didn't really have much choice with Shelby holding her like she was, she didn't even know why her Mom was in her bed but she wasn't going to complain, it was nice to feel loved, to feel like someone wanted her around, she relaxed into the soft cushions and to her mothers embrace and closed her eyes, she knew the chances of her falling back to sleep were slim but there was no harm in trying.

The next time Rachel looked at the clock she was surprised to see it was almost midday, "hey" Shelby smiled sleepily as she walked into the room, "did you sleep well?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah, I did thank you, I've never slept so late before."

Shelby climbed back into bed, "it is pretty late, even by my standards and I'm so lazy at the weekends its unreal." She moved the pillows so she could sit back against the headboard and waited for Rachel to do the same before wrapping her arm around her daughters shoulders and pulling her close.

"Have you been awake long?" Rachel asked as she leant her head on Shelby's shoulder. It surprised Shelby that Rachel was already so open with her, especially after she'd flinched from her touch on Friday, but Shelby had her daughter in her arms, she wasn't going to complain.

Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair and yawned slightly, "not long, only about five or ten minutes. I woke up, went to the bathroom and when I came back from the bathroom you were awake."

Rachel nodded before quietly asking the question that had been playing on her mind since she'd first woken a little after 8am, "why are you in my bed?"

Shelby blushed slightly, "last night, after we said good night I went back downstairs cos there were a few things I needed to do, when I came up to bed I checked in on you and, it sounds creepy but I sat and watched you sleep for a while, you looked so peaceful. I guess I fell asleep talking to you. You can tell me if I'm being too clingy though, I won't mind."

Rachel shook her head, "I don't mind. It's nice I guess. My dad's were never into cuddling or anything."

Shelby sighed, "can we talk about your dads? I don't, I, you said yesterday they never gave you lunch, was there anything else like that that they did? I know it's not going to be easy to talk about darling but once I know about it we can work through it. I don't ever want to do or say anything that might upset you because of something they've done. We can go as slowly as you want to."

"I don't know where to start" Rachel whispered, shifting slightly so her head was buried in the crook of Shelby's neck. If she was going to tell the truth she didn't want to have to look at her mother as she did so, "they rang my teachers every month. If I had anything but straight A's they, Igotaspanking" Rachel mumbled quickly. "10 hits with the belt for every grade I was below an A. I remember one time I was struggling to get above a B in History and Gym and then I got a C in a math quiz. I didn't think I'd ever be able to sit down again."

Shelby sighed and screwed her eyes shut, willing her tears not to fall. "First things first, that won't ever happen here. As long as you're trying the best you can then I don't mind if you're getting As or Cs. And secondly, are there any subjects you're particularly struggling with?"

"I sometimes get a B in gym" Rachel said with her head bowed, "and I sometimes struggle with math."

Shelby nodded, "I can live with you getting Bs in gym, and as for math it's not my strong point either, but if there's anything in particular you're struggling with and I can't help you I'll ask around at Carmel, I'm sure one of the math teachers would be willing to give you a bit of extra tuition."

Rachel was shocked, her fathers never so much as asked if she had homework. Shelby had not only offered to help but offered to find someone else to help if she couldn't help herself, "you, you don't have to do that."

Shelby reached out and squeezed Rachel's hand, "I want to, I want you to be the the best you can be, and if that means you need a little extra help in some areas then so be it."

"I was only allowed out of the basement to go to school or do chores" Rachel admitted quietly without being prompted, "I slept on a pile of blankets on the floor, when I erm, when I had the nightmare they bought puppy training pads and took the blankets away. They they never gave me lunch money, they hardly ever gave me any money, all my clothes came from second hand stores, they'd give me maybe ten dollars to get new clothes. I had to take the receipts home so they knew I'd spent the money on clothes" She bowed her head, "they were always at work and they went away at the weekends, they always locked the basement door before they went, I, I..." She shook her head.

"Hey it's okay" Shelby moved to sit beside Rachel and pulled her into a hug, "you don't have to do this all right now. I'd like to get you a therapist though, someone that you can see on your own or we can see together to help you work though what happened, I, I don't want this to hold you back, I want you to be able to move on, would you be okay with that?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah"

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "we'll ask the doctor if they can recommend someone when we go but for now I want to show you something." She stood from the bed and took Rachel's hand, leading her down the stairs and pausing at a door by the kitchen, "this is my basement" she said as she flicked on the light and reached for Rachel's hand again as she felt the girl hesitate, "there are not and will never be any locks on the door and you're welcome down here whenever you like, you don't have to ask permission."

Rachel gasped as they reached the bottom stair, right in front of her was a full size grand piano and behind that a book case full of binders, "the binders are all full of sheet music. When I said earlier you could talk to me about anything I lied, I never want to talk about how the hell I managed to get a grand piano in my basement" she laughed slightly.

"Wow" was all Rachel could manage as she stepped further into the room. The wall at the far end was covered in floor to ceiling mirrors and there was a ballet barre stood in front of the mirror. It was only then that she noticed the floor by the mirrors was different to the rest of the room, "is that?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, guessing what Rachel was going to ask, "fully sprung. I used to dance a lot but now I mainly use the floor to do some yoga or something when I've had a bad day."

"Wow" Rachel couldn't believe it, this room was like heaven, and it was only as she turned round that she noticed several pieces of gym equipment in the area under the stairs.

"I usually go on a major health kick at the start of every year" Shelby saw Rachel looking at her 'gym', "it usually doesn't last much longer than the 4th of January" she laughed, "and it's easier to come down here than go to the gym." Rachel nodded, "so, as you can see, even if I did somehow lock you in here, which I promise I never will. It wouldn't really be much of a punishment would it?" She saw the doubt on Rachel's face. "I want you to be happy here. You said you love music so I want you to feel able to come down here and play something or dance, whatever you want, whenever you want. If you think it will make you feel more comfortable I'll take the door off the top of the stairs."

"No" Rachel looked stunned, "you don't have to do that, I'm sorry, I, I'll try harder to..."

"Darling" Shelby reached out to rest a hand on Rachel's arm. "You don't need to 'try' and feel comfortable, that's something that will come with time but my minds made up, I'm going to take the door off tonight. We could pick out a curtain or something to replace it. I'd get rid of every door in the house if it made you feel more comfortable." Once Shelby was sure Rachel had spent enough time looking around the basement she lead her back upstairs, "are you ready for breakfast?"

Rachel frowned, "but I'm still in my pyjamas".

"So am I" Shelby smiled, "does it matter?"

"I, we..." Rachel shook her head.

"Sunday's a day of rest" Shelby smiled as she began pulling things from the fridge, "I consider getting dressed not resting. Sunday is also the day of the pancake breakfast, is that okay with you?"

"I, I don't think I've ever had pancakes."

"Well then" Shelby tried to hide her dismay that the teen had never had something so simple as pancakes, "you're in for a treat baby girl. Do you want plain pancakes with syrup, pancakes with chocolate chips in or pancakes with blueberries in?" She glanced at Rachel and saw the girl was completely overwhelmed, "never mind, I'll make a few of everything."

"Wow" Rachel looked amazed as Shelby placed a large plate of pancakes and a jug of orange juice in the middle of the table before she put a smaller plate and a glass in front of Rachel and another plate and glass in front of herself.

"What would you like to try first?" Shelby asked

Rachel looked exactly how Shelby's young nieces and nephews looked on Christmas morning, "could I have a chocolate one?"

"Sure" Shelby put a chocolate pancake on Rachel's plate, "you can have as many as you like" she said, putting a couple of blueberry pancakes onto her own plate and watching as Rachel cut off a small piece of the pancake and slowly put it in her mouth.

"Oh my" Rachel's face lit up, "these are amazing. What's in them?"

Shelby smiled, Rachel's grin was infectious, "Eggs, flour, sugar, a little milk and chocolate chips."

Rachel swallowed another mouthful of pancake, "could you maybe teach me how to make them one day?"

Shelby nodded, she'd make pancakes every single day of her life if it meant she saw Rachel smile like she was now, "next Sunday we'll make them together" she promised, she saw Rachel finish her pancake and knew the girl wouldn't help herself to more, "how about a blueberry one next? Or a plain one and some syrup? We can pick up some more things for pancakes when we go grocery shopping later."

They sat in silence for a while until almost all the pancakes were gone, "I don't think I can eat any more" Rachel said quietly, "thank you though, they were delicious."

"No problem" Shelby smiled and cleared her plate, "I'll cover them and put them in the fridge, we can warm them up and finish them later if we get hungry, but while we're here I think we should talk about some rules" she saw Rachel's face fall, "nothing like you had at your fathers, I promise. I think we'll start with curfew, if you go out I'd like you to be in at 9.30 on a school night or 11 on a Friday or Saturday, obviously if there's something special going on then talk to me, it's not set in stone, if you need a curfew extension come ask me, if someone's parents are bringing you home and you get stuck in traffic or even if you just loose track of time then call me and let me know okay? Does that sound fair?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "I, I don't go out much, I don't have friends."

Shelby smiled sadly, "maybe that will change now, you're allowed to be out until 9.30, you could join some clubs or something to try and meet new people."

"Yeah" Rachel smiled slightly at the thought, "maybe."

Shelby smiled, "you're almost fifteen so I'm not going to give you a bedtime, I'll let you go to bed when you like, but if there's ever a morning where you're so tired because you went to bed late, that you don't get out of bed when I ask or you oversleep, I'll make sure you're in bed by 9 the next night okay. I'm not into physical punishments Rachel, I hope I wont have to punish you at all but even if I do your punishments will never be physical, I will never hit you. If you stay up late and oversleep you'll go to bed early that night and the next night you'll be able to decide for yourself again, are you okay with that?"

"Yes" Rachel whispered, "thank you."

"It's okay. I'd like you to help out around the house too, nothing major, I don't want you to feel like you have to be my house keeper, I'd like you to keep your bedroom and your bathroom clean and tidy and make sure your dirty laundry is in the laundry room before I do the laundry, I'll give you plenty of notice, and I'd like you to help make dinner a couple of times a week. They're the main things, but y'know, anything you think might help, if you're in the kitchen and you notice the dishwasher has finished put the dishes away, if you hear the washer stop and you're not busy then move the clothes to the dryer. I don't want you to go out of your way to help though Rachel. There might be times when I ask you to vacuum the living room or mop the kitchen but I want you to have time to be a teenager Rachel, unless I ask you to do something I'd rather come home to find you watching tv than scrubbing the floor. I'll never ask you to do a lot and I don't want you doing more than I ask you to."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Last rule" Shelby said with a smile, "never call me Ma'am, it makes me feel ancient, you can call me Shelby, and hopefully one day you'll feel comfortable enough to call me Mom."

Rachel cracked a smile, "Okay."

"Can I add one last rule?" Shelby asked and Rachel nodded, "you need to smile more often."

Rachel smiled again, she was sure that, with her Mom's love and support, that last rule would not be a problem.


	4. Chapter 4

Grocery shopping with Rachel hadn't been as terrible as Shelby thought it might be, they'd sat together at the kitchen table before they went to the store and looked up recipes on the internet, together they'd picked out things they'd like to eat and used those recipes to build up a shopping list. Shelby had been disappointed but not surprised when Rachel asked what several items she put in the cart were, she also discovered that her daughter thought white, pre sliced was the only type of bread available and Rachel looked like Shelby had given her the world when Shelby told her she could pick out a long, crusty baguette. Something so simple as picking a box of breakfast cereal had taken almost fifteen minutes as Rachel had never been given a choice, she'd told her mother she had cornflakes or she had nothing, and they were usually eaten dry because her fathers had told her that, as a vegan, she couldn't have milk. It had however become clear to Shelby that her daughter's diet had been so limited that she should introduce new foods slowly just in case Rachel had any unknown allergies. She'd picked up a small note book so she could jot down what new foods Rachel ate and when she had them, so if anything made her ill they should be able to easily find out what it was.

Once they returned home Shelby served lunch, chicken salad sandwiches on the baguette that had excited Rachel followed by a bar of chocolate Rachel had taken nearly ten minutes to choose. It had taken Rachel a while to choose things but she had chosen them which made Shelby happy, even though Shelby had to ask her to choose things Rachel had eventually made the final decision on her own. They'd spent almost half an hour in the toiletry aisle as Rachel smelt every bottle of shampoo, conditioner and shower gel before choosing ones she wanted to call her own. Even a simple bottle of shampoo had Rachel smiling like a child at Christmas and it was over lunch that Rachel had admitted that all she ever got from her fathers was a plain bar of white soap, but then again the only place she had to wash was a rickety old sink in the corner of a basement that only had cold water. Shelby had mentioned the worry of allergies over lunch and while she mentioned introducing new foods slowly she'd reassured Rachel she would never restrict the amount of food she ate. Rachel understood Shelby's concerns and together they came up with a, fairly short, list of foods Rachel had been 'allowed' and the foods she'd eaten whilst she was with Shelby.

"I'm going to see both our principals tomorrow" Shelby said as they snuggled together on the sofa, Rachel had confessed that the shopping trip had exhausted her so she was laid out on the sofa with her head in her mothers lap, "I need to tell your principal that you're living with me now, and I think we should both take some time off. A week at the least, to give you some time to settle in here."

"Thank you"

"It's okay" Shelby smiled, running her fingers through Rachel's hair, something she already knew would relax Rachel and probably send her to sleep, "there's a lot of things we'll need to do starting tomorrow, to get you officially in my custody, and I figured there might be a few things you want to talk about, and it'll be easier for you to talk about things if we're both here together." Rachel said nothing but Shelby knew she wasn't asleep yet, "Are you worried?" Shelby asked, "about coming to talk to me in case I'm busy?" Rachel nodded slowly. "Okay" Shelby suspected as much, "how about we both set aside one evening a week, we can decide which evening once you've decided whether or not you'd like to join any clubs or teams at school. And on that one evening we make the effort, I'll turn off my cellphone, unplug the landline and the tv and that can be our time. Does that sound good?"

Rachel couldn't help but beam, her fathers had never made any effort to spend time with her and Shelby was going to spend one whole evening with her each week. "Could we play board games? I always wanted to, but I was an only child and my fathers..."

Shelby was shocked that the girl had never played boardgames, "of course we can, but we'll have to go and pick some out first, what do you fancy getting?"

"I don't know."

"You like English right?" Rachel nodded, "then maybe we should start with scrabble."

Rachel nodded again, "Okay, what, what is it?"

"Scrabble?"

"Yeah"

"Well there's a board with lots of squares on and a bag full of square tiles, you pick out eight random tiles to start with and you have to use your letters to make a word, the next person has to make a word with their letters but it needs to intersect one of the words already on the board. Each letter you use is worth a different amount of points and some of the tiles on the board give you bonus points. You keep taking turns until there are no tiles left and the person with the highest score at the end wins. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah" Rachel smiled, "it does".

Shelby smiled, Rachel's smile was infectious, "we can go to the toy store and pick up a few other games too. Monopoly's a classic but it can go on for hours so it's probably best if we save that one for a day when we've got nothing else planned. We used to play it at Christmas, one year we started at about 3 and we were still going at 1am" Shelby glanced down when Rachel didn't reply to see the girl staring into space, "you okay?"

"Yeah" Rachel sighed, "I'm just tired"

Shelby once again began running her fingers through Rachel's dark hair, "close your eyes then, take a nap."

"Don't you think I've slept too much already this weekend?"

Shelby shook her head, "if you're tired then you haven't slept enough. If you didn't sleep too well at your fathers' then your body's probably playing catch up. We can go and lie down upstairs if you like? I'll lay with you" Shelby suddenly remembered something, "actually, I've got something for you upstairs, come up with me."

Shelby led Rachel up the stairs and into the master bedroom, once Rachel was settled on the bed Shelby excused herself and walked into her large closet returning just a few seconds later with a large shoebox in her hands, "what is it?" Rachel asked as the box was put in her hands, it had been so long since she'd been given anything she wasn't sure what to do.

"Open it and see."Rachel could tell Shelby was nervous so she opened the box slowly, only to find, nestled amongst layers of white tissue paper, the softest brown teddy bear Rachel had ever seen in her life.

"I bought him for you when I was pregnant, one of the nurses took him to the nursery and put him in your cot but one of your fathers left him in my room whilst I was in the shower. I decided to keep him for you, I always planned on giving him to you, even if when you turned 18 you didn't want anything to do with me I promised myself I'd find you just to give you him."

"He's beautiful" Rachel had never had a teddy, or any stuffed animal really but she could tell, as she lifted the bear from the box, that he'd probably cost Shelby a huge amount of money, "I'll be sure to look after him" she promised as she began to wrap the bear back up in the tissue paper, only for Shelby to gently take hold of her hand and stop her.

"I bought him with every intention of you growing up with him, I hoped you'd drag him around by his leg and play in the mud with him. He was bought to be loved, maybe, one day, when you head off to college or you move into your own place he'll be there to give you the love and snuggles I would give you if I was there." She watched as Rachel lifted the bear from the box again, "are you going to give him a name?"

Rachel thought for a moment before deciding, "Edward".

Shelby smiled, "Edward Tedward" she chuckled, "now come on, let's lay down and have a nap" she placed the box and tissue paper on the floor by the bed, "you and Edward can get to know each other later." She saw Rachel studying the bear, "is everything okay?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah" she lied, laying on the bed with Edward in her arms.

"No it's not" Shelby brushed Rachel's hair from her face, "talk to me baby."

Rachel shook her had, "it's silly."

"Sillier than planning to keep a teddy bear for 18 years before you give it to someone?" Rachel nodded, tears silently creeping down her cheek, "I don't think it is darling, tell me what's wrong."

"What you said about him being there when you're not" Rachel whispered.

"I didn't mean any time soon" Shelby clarified, "I meant in like 5 or 10 years."

"No, I know that" Rachel sighed, "could, could you maybe sleep with him tonight so he smells like you?"

Shelby frowned, "you think I smell?"

"Not, not in a bad way" Rachel was scared she'd upset Shelby and tried quickly to dig herself out of the hole she assumed she'd dug, "I, I don't know how to explain it, but even though I've only known you a couple of days I already feel better whenever I can smell you, it's a little reassuring I guess."

Shelby had never felt so maternal, she'd read in baby books whilst she was pregnant that newborns would be able to recognise the familiar scent of their mothers but now, almost fifteen years later Rachel found herself comforted by the smell of her mother, "that is the weirdest, yet sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me" she dropped a kiss to Rachel's head, "of course Edward can sleep with me tonight, so can you if you'd like, and if you ever want to snuggle up in a shirt of mine or anything then you're welcome to help yourself".

Rachel rolled over to face Shelby, a huge smile on her face, "can I? Can I really?"

Shelby nodded, "of course you can darling, would you like me to get you something now?" Shelby saw Rachel fight with herself, she knew her daughter wanted to accept the offer but at the same time didn't want to put her mother to any trouble, "wait here" Shelby instructed. She bought out a tshirt, it was large on her so she wasn't surprised when Rachel slipped it on, not at all conscious of changing in front of her mother, the hem of the tshirt skimmed Rachel's knees, "take off your jeans Rach, get comfy" Shelby had changed into sweats whilst getting Rachel the tshirt, "I wasn't tired until I suggested taking a nap". She watched as Rachel carefully folded her new jeans and sat them on top of Shelby;s dresser before climbing under the blanket and allowing her mother to hold her tightly, _'yes'_ Rachel thought to herself as she closed her eyes, _'I could get used to this'._

"Thank you" Rachel whispered long after Shelby thought she'd fallen asleep.

"What for darling?" Shelby asked as she gently began running her fingers through Rachel's hair.

"For letting me stay with you."

"Oh darling" Shelby sighed, "if I'd have been able to I'd have had you with me since the day you were born and if I'd known, oh baby if I'd have known what they were like I'd have had you move in here before you had time to blink."

"I'll always remember this. Even if one day you get sick of me and ask me to leave, I'll always remember how good it felt for someone to want me."

"Rachel" Shelby's voice quivered as she tried to hold back her tears, "I'll keep saying it until you believe me, but nothing you could ever do would make me want you to leave. Honey you could tell me you were pregnant, wanted by the police and a drug addict and I would still love you, granted I'd probably ask you to get some sort of help, but I'd still love you and I'd still be there. I have always and will always love and want you. Even when you're 40 and I'm pushing 60, I'll still make time to lay with you like this if you want me too, hell I'll still do it when you're 60, you'd probably have to help me out of my wheelchair and onto the bed though" she joked. "I would give up everything if it made you happy darling. I'd live in a box under a bridge if I knew it made you happy."

"I don't understand" Rachel sighed, hiding her face in the bears fur, "you, you, you don't know me, how can you promise me that when my fathers couldn't put up with me, there must me something wrong with me. They said I used to be too clingy, I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to lay with me. You'll be glad of the break tomorrow when I'm at school, I'm sorry I just turned up and screwed things up for you. I'll make sure to stay out of your way."I know that's hard for you to believe but if someone told me I could guarantee your future happiness by giving up everything I had I wouldn't even need to think about it.

"Hey" Shelby pulled Rachel closer, "calm down" she could hear Rachel starting to hyperventilate and wondered how often the girl had panic attacks, "take some deep breaths, you're okay, you're okay." She continued to reassure Rachel until she felt the girl finally calm down, "I don't even know where to start" she admitted, "but you're not here because I'm putting up with you, you're here because I love you and I want you here. I know things are a little shaky right now, but you have no idea how much I am looking forward to getting to know all about you, and watching you become the beautiful young woman I know you're going to be. There might be times when you annoy me, there might be times when I annoy you too but baby that's life, I used to argue with my Mom all the time but I wouldn't be without her. And as for all the cuddling, I'm pretty sure I'm enjoying it just as much as you are. We've missed out on so much time with each other, there's nothing wrong with us making up for that right now, and I've already told you, we're both going to take some time off to get to know each other a little better." Shelby paused for a moment before asking, "can I tell you something? I want to be completely honest with you."

"Okay" Rachel whispered, terrified to hear what her mom wanted to tell her.

"Your dads didn't just take my baby the day you were born, they took a piece of my heart too. I've lived for almost fifteen years feeling like, no matter what I did, or who I did it with there was part of me missing. Yesterday morning when I woke up holding you, I felt like that missing piece was back. I feel like I'm whole again. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, a lot of things I regret, but you" Shelby shook her head, "you, I look at you and I can't believe I made something so perfect, so beautiful. I'm constantly in awe that the tiny thing I saw for only a moment all those years ago has somehow become this, this miracle, this real person that I can hold and kiss and love. And I do love you, so much I think I might burst or something. I hold you and I never want to let you go. I want to protect you from everything. I know things haven't been great for you but I promise Rachel, I promise you that it'll be different now."

"I, I'm so glad you're not like they said you were."

Shelby frowned but didn't push Rachel to tell her more, she didn't want to make Rachel feel forced into talking, and she could tell from her daughter's voice that she was struggling to walk the fine line between being asleep and awake, and right now getting her exhausted daughter to rest was more important than finding out what lies the men had been telling her, "close your eyes baby, get some sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Okay" Rachel mumbled, allowing the feel of Shelby's hand rubbing at her back to sooth her to sleep

Shelby woke before Rachel over an hour later, "hey" she smiled as Rachel's eyes fluttered open, "feeling better?"

"Yeah" Rachel yawned, "thanks."

"Are you hungry?"

"What time is it?"

"Does that matter? If you're hungry then you're hungry." Shelby twisted away from Rachel slightly to look at the clock by her bed, "it's almost five thirty"

"Okay"

"Do you want to make a start on dinner?" Shelby asked, "I thought we could try a pasta bolognaise, see what you think of beef. Pasta's a pretty 'safe' food and you're okay with bread so we know you don't have problems with wheat or gluten, and you've had tomatoes before, we could throw some other veggies in there too if you'd like, does that sound good?" Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "if you don't like it you don't have to eat it darling. I honestly don't mind cooking you a second meal if you don't like what's on your plate, all I ask is that you try."

"Okay"

Shelby leant over and kissed Rachel's forehead, "I'm going to go and make a start, you and Edward are welcome to stay here for a while if you like, you still look a little sleepy."

Rachel shook her head, "I, I'd like to get up if that's okay?"

"Of course it is, do you want to go and pull some leggings on under that tshirt so your legs don't get cold?"

Rachel looked surprised, "you mean I can keep it on?"

"Sure" Shelby smiled, "you can keep it forever if you want."

"Really?" Rachel's face lit up.

"Absolutely, now, leave Edward tucked in the sheets and go put some leggings on. I'll wait for you."

Rachel dropped an open tin of tomatoes whilst she was helping Shelby make dinner, and before the tin had even hit the floor Rachel was cowering in the corner away from Shelby, "I'm sorry" she whimpered, "I'm sorry"

"Rachel" Shelby approached slowly, "It's okay darling, it was an accident. you're okay."

"I, I, it got on your t-shirt" she whispered.

"That's okay" Shelby opened her arms, "it will wash, I'm more worried about you, come here baby."

"I, I'll make your shirt dirty too."

"Honey I can wash shirts no problem, come here." Rachel walked slowly into Shelby's arms and was instantly wrapped in a tight embrace, "shh" Shelby felt Rachel begin to sob, "you're okay darling". She held Rachel until she calmed down, "why don't you run upstairs and grab us both a clean shirt from my closet. I'll clean the mess up."

"What would you like me to do?" Rachel asked quietly as she handed Shelby a clean shirt.

"Thanks" Shelby took the shirt, "you can set the table if you like, everything's done here, we've just got to wait for it to cook."

"I, I'm not really hungry any more" Rachel lied.

"You need to eat something" Shelby turned to face Rachel as she pulled the clean top over her head, "I don't want you making yourself ill."

"But I wasted the to..."

"No" Shelby interrupted, "you didn't, accidents happen, things get dropped, knocked over, spilt. We clean them up and move on, there's a saying, 'there's no use crying over spilt milk', well, there's no use beating yourself up over a dropped tin of tomatoes."

"But you, you gave me the luxury of food and I wasted it, I made a mess , I, I..."

"Baby" Shelby held open her arms as Rachel began to sob, "don't do this to yourself."

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed as she once again fell into Shelby's arms, "I'm so sorry".

Dinner passed quickly, Rachel didn't eat as much as Shelby would have liked but she ate something so the mother wasn't complaining. It was about 10.30 when Shelby announced she was heading for bed, "are you coming up or are you going to watch tv for a bit longer?"

"I, I'll go to bed."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I'll come in and say goodnight when you've used the bathroom."

"I'm scared of sleeping" Rachel whispered, the covers pulled up to her chin so she could hide her face from Shelby, "I don't want to sleep in case I wake up and this is a dream"

Shelby smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, "I worry about that too, but it's not baby, it's not a dream I promise. If you wake in the night come and check, I'll be right across the hall in my room, if you want to get in with me then I really don't mind." She kissed Rachel's head and pulled the covers straight, "good night darling, I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

Rachel smiled and closed her eyes, "good night" she mumbled, sleep already taking over.

Rachel woke in the middle of the night with a jump and immediately began to cry. She'd slept without Shelby for the first time since Friday night and for the first time since Friday night she'd had an accident. Her fathers were right, she really was a baby, an animal, she didn't deserve the luxury of a bed. Tears rolled silently down Rachel's cheeks as she stripped the bedding off and replaced it with a clean set, she wanted Shelby, she didn't know why but she felt safe with her mother, without doing anything at all Shelby made everything better. She walked quietly down the hallway and paused outside Shelby's room, the woman had left her door ajar to remind Rachel it was okay for her to go in and Rachel took a deep breath before stepping into the room. The curtains were open and Rachel could tell from the moonlight streaming through the window that Shelby was sprawled out in the middle of the bed leaving no room for anyone else so she did what she was so used to doing, she curled up on the floor and hugged her legs up to her chest. At least Shelby's thick carpet was more comfortable than the concrete floor in her fathers' basement and for that she should be grateful.


	5. Chapter 5

Shelby woke at 6.30 to the dreaded bleeping of her alarm. She quickly turned it off before sinking back into the pillows and making a mental list of things she needed to do, starting with making an appointment with the principals at both Carmel and McKinley and calling her solicitor. She sighed again, she wouldn't get anything done by lying in bed and she needed to shower and get ready before she woke Rachel. Shelby yawned and stretched into the mattress, blinking a couple of times before standing from her bed and frowning as she noticed Rachel curled up, fast asleep, in the corner, "Oh baby" Shelby gently touched Rachel's arm, the girl was freezing! Shelby easily lifted Rachel from the floor and laid her in the spot she'd just laid in herself, placing Edward the bear in her arms before kissing Rachel's forehead as she pulled the covers over her.

"Momma" Rachel whimpered as she began to toss and turn in the bed, "please Momma, please, I'm sorry. Momma please, please don't go, don't leave me Momma."

"Shh" tears were running down Shelby's cheeks as she ran her hand gently over Rachel's forehead, "I'm here darling, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." She moved away only briefly to lay on the opposite side of the bed before wrapping her arm around her daughter to try and settle her. The girl was no longer crying out but she still let out the odd whimper as she tossed and turned. _"For you"_ Shelby began to sing, _"there'll be no more crying, for you, the sun will be shining and I feel that when I'm with you, it's all right, I know it's right. To you, I'll give the world, to you, I'll never be cold 'cause I feel that when I'm with you, It's all right, I know it's right. And the songbirds are singing like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before. And I wish you all the love in the world, but most of all, I wish it from myself. And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score. And I love you, I love you, I love you, Like never before, like never before._ " By the time she'd finished the song Rachel had calmed down. Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead again. "we'll get there baby, it might take a while but we'll get there."

Shelby showered, dressed and made a couple of phone calls before waking Rachel a little before 8am, "Morning" she smiled as Rachel's eyes fluttered open, "I'm afraid it's time to get up, we've got a busy day, I need you to get up and get showered and dressed please baby. I'm going to go make a start on breakfast."

"I'm in your bed" Rachel mumbled sleepily.

"Yes you are" Shelby nodded, "I found you on my floor when I woke up. You were freezing."

"I, I had a bad dream" Rachel admitted, "I wanted you but you were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh darling" Shelby sat on the edge of the bed and brushed Rachel's hair back from her head, "if it happens again then please, please wake me up. I don't want you ever sleeping on the floor in this house, there's no need okay."

Rachel nodded, "okay".

"Okay" Shelby repeated, "we've got a lot of appointments to keep today, starting with seeing your principal at 9.30" she glanced at her watch, "so we need to leave in about an hour, you can shower in my ensuite if you want to, my hairdryer is downstairs if you want to borrow it, I didn't want it to wake you."

Whilst Rachel was showering Shelby made both her and Rachel sandwiches, they had a lot of appointments and Shelby didn't know if they'd have time to stop for lunch, sandwiches, she thought to her self could be eaten in the car between appointments, she threw some fruit in the bag with the sandwiches, she didn't want Rachel going hungry. "Hey beautiful" she smiled as Rachel walked into the room, her hair damp around her shoulders, "sit down, I'm making eggs, they're almost ready" she said, pushing bread into the toaster before turning back to the scrambled eggs she had on the stove.

"I, I need to dry my hair."

"It's okay" Shelby placed a glass of juice in front of Rachel, "I'll help you with it when we've eaten if you like, do you want butter on your toast?"

Rachel nodded, "yes please".

"Okay" Shelby buttered two slices of toast before putting some scrambled eggs on top and placing the plate in front of Rachel, "there you go". She sat opposite Rachel with her own plate and watched as the girl slowly took a bite of the eggs. "Do you like it?" Shelby asked once Rachel had swallowed her mouthful.

"Yes thank you".

"Good" Shelby smiled, "we've got a busy day today, we're going to McKinley first to talk to your principal, and then we have to go to Carmel to speak to my principal and I'm going to ask the nurse at Carmel if she can recommend a paediatrician for you. We're meeting my solicitor this afternoon too, and" Shelby took a deep breath, "I'd like you to talk to the police about what your fathers did too. I know it's not easy but I'll be there darling, I, what they did to you baby wasn't right, you shouldn't let them get away with it."

Rachel nodded, "o...okay."

"It's going to be a long day darling, if it gets too much for you then please tell me, I don't mind us sitting in the car for while, I don't mind being late for an appointment if you need to take a break."

It wasn't long before they were in the car and on their way to McKinley, as promised, Shelby had dried Rachel's hair for her before they left, the simple action of having her hair brushed by her mother had Rachel in tears, Shelby had been so gentle Rachel didn't know what to do, she was so used to being manhandled, pushed and shoved that she was overwhelmed by the love her mother gave her.

"Remember" Shelby said as she pulled into the parking lot, "if it gets too much then just say the words, we can always step outside for five minutes."

Rachel was surprised at how fierce Shelby could be, she'd been warned that Coach Corcoran was a lot stricter than Momma Shelby and she was right, no one messed with Shelby, she'd got a week off for both herself and Rachel and Carmel's school nurse had called Shelby whilst they were on their way to see her solicitor, she'd called a friend of hers who was a paediatrician and he'd agreed to see Rachel at the end of his surgery hours, "when was the last time you saw a doctor sweetheart?" Shelby asked Rachel, "and can you remember their name? The doctor you're going to see later wants to try and find your records."

"Erm, I was about 8, maybe 9, his name was Doctor Greenburg, at the surgery near the elementary school."

"Okay" Shelby relayed the information before hanging up the phone, "can, is" Shelby took a deep breath, "I have to ask Rachel, why has it been so long?"

"Dr Greenburg retired" Rachel whispered, "my fathers never found me another doctor."

"Well" Shelby sighed sadly, "you're already on my insurance so if you ever think you need to see a doctor then you just need to let me know and I'll make the appointment for you, you don't even need to tell me why you want to see the doctor if you don't want to. Even if you just have a headache I'd like you to tell me."

"Okay" Rachel whispered, "thank you."

"It's okay" Shelby smiled, "I don't want you to think you have to deal with it yourself if you feel ill, I'm your mom, it's my job to make you better if I can, and if I can't, well that's what I pay my insurance for."

"Thank you" Rachel repeated.

The meeting with Shelby's solicitor went well, he said he couldn't see any problems with Shelby getting custody of Rachel, he pointed out that at fifteen years of age the judge would more than likely allow Rachel to choose where she wanted to live as long as it was safe. He gave Shelby the number of a social worker he'd worked with before, who he said would need to check Shelby's home was suitable and she was able to provide for Rachel. He also pointed out that if Rachel did tell the police what her fathers had done it would almost certainly guarantee that the two Berry Men would never get custody of Rachel or any other child. Shelby sighed, the police station was her next stop.

Rachel cried for half an hour after they left the police station, and Shelby could do nothing but sit in the back of the car, holding Rachel and reassuring her that everything was okay. Shelby was exhausted herself and not at all surprised when Rachel fell asleep. Shelby kissed her forehead and pulled the seatbelt around her tightly, they had one last appointment and that wasn't for another hour, Rachel could sleep until then.

"Rachel" Shelby whispered softly, "Rachel darling."

Rachel yawned and rubbed at her eyes, "Where, what?" she frowned, still sleepy from her nap.

"You fell asleep in the back of the car, we're at the doctors office, your appointment is in ten minutes sweetheart."

The doctors appointment went exactly how Shelby predicted, Rachel was underweight and needed several booster shots but other than that she was in relatively good health. The doctor made another appointment for four weeks time so he could check Rachel was putting on weight and give her her last few shots. He also suggested making an appointment with a dietician which Shelby thought they could do without for the time being, Rachel wasn't reluctant to eat and she was sure, given time, that she could get her weight up without seeing a dietician. As promised Shelby asked for Rachel to be referred to a therapist and mentioned Rachel's panic attacks, for which he prescribed a mild anti anxiety medication, before Shelby thanked the doctor for staying late to see Rachel and guiding her daughter back to the car, all she needed now was for a judge to sign the papers granting her full custody of Rachel and then they could slowly start move on with their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in italics from Songbird by Eva Cassidy


	6. Chapter 6

Shelby woke the next morning to find Rachel curled into her side, the girl looked so young as she slept, one hand firmly grasping the hem of Shelby's pyjama top, the other holding Edward Bear to her chest, Rachel had fallen asleep watching tv the night before and as Shelby had carried her up the stairs she'd been reluctant to leave her daughter alone, so once again she'd fallen asleep holding her baby tightly. Shelby decided as she waited for Rachel to wake, today they were going to do something, anything to try and replace Rachel's memories of bad times with her fathers with good times with her mother. The park! Shelby smiled to herself, it was cold but the forecast hadn't predicted rain and hopefully they'd have the whole place to themselves. Shelby wasn't sure if Hiram and Leroy had ever taken Rachel to the park, but, in her opinion, you were never too old to swing.

"Morning beautiful" Shelby smiled as Rachel began to stir, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay" Rachel said softly, watching as Shelby frowned slightly, "really, I am."

"Okay" Shelby nodded, she trusted Rachel to tell her if anything was bothering her, "are you ready for breakfast? I thought we could go out for a walk or something this morning, get out of the house and into the fresh air for a while. Of course if you'd rather we just stayed home and watched tv then that's fine too."

Rachel smiled, "a walk sounds good."

Shelby returned the smile before kissing Rachel's forehead, "I'm going to go make a start on breakfast, are you coming down or do you want to stay here and I'll call you when breakfast's ready?"

Rachel yawned and stretched, "I need to use the bathroom" she said quietly, "but then can I come down and help?"

"Sure" Shelby kissed her again before standing from the bed, "just come down when you're ready."

"Do I need to get dressed?"

"Only if you want to, I'm not going to get changed until after breakfast but you can get changed now if it's what you want."

Less than an hour after they woke Shelby and Rachel were strolling, side by side, down the street. Shelby noticed Rachel brush her hand softly a few times and as it happened for the fourth time Shelby took Rachel's hand in hers, intertwining her gloved fingers through her daughter's and squeezed her hand softly. Rachel was screaming out for physical contact and Shelby would never deny her that.

"Do you want me to push you?" Shelby asked as they reached the park and she lead Rachel over to the swings.

"I, I think I'm okay" Rachel said with a smile as she sat down, watching as Shelby sat on the swing beside her and started to swing slowly.

They sat in silence for a while before Shelby spoke, "do you want to have a competition?" she asked. Rachel looked puzzled, "come on" Shelby smiled, "let's see who can go the highest, are you ready? One, two, three." She wasn't sure if Rachel would allow herself to have fun, but almost before Shelby had got to three, the teen rocked back onto her heels before pushing herself forward, leaning back and pumping her legs as hard as she could to force her swing higher.

Shelby tried to keep up for a moment before she glanced sideways and saw the look on Rachel's face, the girl looked so excited, so carefree that Shelby's 'contest' was soon forgotten and her swing began to slow down, tears rolling down her cheeks as she watched her daughter swing.

Rachel couldn't help but smile, it had been so long since she'd been to the park, she'd forgotten how it felt to have the wind rushing through her hair, to feel like she was flying. She used to think if she swung high enough she'd be able to touch the clouds, but her fathers had told her she needed to grow up, the park was for babies, but here was her mother, encouraging her to act like a child, and Rachel knew there would be no repercussions for her 'immature' behaviour. She couldn't help but glance sideways to see if she was winning and she dug her feet into the floor, forcing her swing to a stop as she noticed Shelby was no longer swinging and had tears rolling down her cheeks, "did I, did I do something wrong?"

"No" Shelby gasped, "no baby, it's, these are happy tears, you looked so happy swinging, seeing you happy made me happy and" she shook her head, "happy tears"

"You don't think I'm too old to swing?"

"Hell no" Shelby didn't even need to think about her answer, "there's a huge tree in the back yard of my parents' house, when I was maybe five or six my Dad hung a swing from it, it's still there for my nieces and nephews to use, but my Mom and Dad both know that my sister and I still fight over who gets the first swing once the kids are all asleep." She saw Rachel didn't look too convinced, "I think if you enjoy something and it makes you happy, so long as it doesn't hurt or offend anyone then you shouldn't let anything stop you doing it darling. Do what makes you happy not what you think will make other people happy." She saw Rachel shiver slightly as she nodded, "come on" she stood and held out her hand, "let's get you warmed up."

Shelby walked with Rachel to a small café by the park, she sat Rachel at a table in the window and went to order, returning a while later with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate complete with marshmallows and cream, and a large cupcake with two plates. She placed a mug in front of Rachel before cutting the cup cake in half, giving the slightly larger piece to Rachel and keeping the smaller half for herself, "Is that for me?" Rachel asked.

Shelby nodded as she used her finger to scoop some of the frosting from her half of the cupcake, "I don't see anyone else sitting there."

"But I didn't clear my plate at breakfast" Rachel said quietly, her head bowed.

"Rachel baby, look at me" Rachel lifted her head to look her mother in the eye, "I know you can't eat everything I give you at meal times, I don't expect you to, I know it's going to take a while until you can eat what I consider to be a normal sized portion but that's okay. You never have to force yourself to eat everything on your plate. You eat until you're full okay, whether that means you have two mouthfuls or two platefuls it doesn't matter, once you're full that's it, there's nothing more to it, if you're hungry you eat, when you're full you stop okay?"

Rachel nodded slowly, "I'm sorry"

"It's okay darling, it's only been a couple of days sweetheart, it will get easier, I promise."

They walked home in silence and once they were home, Shelby changed into sweats and Rachel into leggings and a hoodie of her mother's before the two curled under the familiar blanket on the couch to watch several movies Shelby hadn't seen since her childhood.

It was a little after three when Shelby's cellphone began to ring, she grabbed it from the coffee table, "Shelby Corcoran" she answered, before listening to the person on the other end for a while and speaking again, "can't someone else deal with it? I said I wouldn't be in this we... no, I know, look have you tried the master key? Oh for God's sake" Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose, "I'll be there in half an hour but I'm not hanging around. I'll come in and then I'm leaving again, I took this week off for a reason." She ended the call and slammed her phone down on the table, instantly regretting it when she saw Rachel flinch, "I'm sorry darling. That was the school, something's come up, I have to go in for something" she saw Rachel's face fall, "do you want to come with me or would you rather stay here?"

"I'll stay here" Rachel didn't look Shelby in the eye.

"I'm so sorry baby, the glee club are running their own practices this week and I have the only key for one of their equipment cupboards in my bag. I'm not sticking around, it'll take me half an hour to drive there and half an hour to drive back so I shouldn't be much longer than an hour and you are more than welcome to come along with me."

"I'll stay here" Rachel repeated, "what would you like me to do while you're gone?"

Shelby frowned, "what do you mean?"

"Chores" Rachel said quietly, "My fathers always left a list of chores for me to do while they were out. If I didn't complete them in time I got punished."

"Sweetheart" Shelby reached for Rachel's hand, "while I'm gone I want you to relax, watch some tv, go down in the basement and play the piano, read a book, there are plenty to choose from on the shelves in my office. Take a nap if you get tired, if you feel more comfortable taking a nap in my bed then that's fine, grab a snack if you're hungry. Whatever you want to do, do it. All I ask is that you clean up after yourself, if you make a snack put your dishes in the dishwasher, if you knock something over pick it up. I'll leave my cell phone number by the phone in the hallway and I have hands free in my car so if you need anything then you can call me. I'll call you when I get to the school and again when I'm leaving." She saw tears pooling in Rachel's eyes, "what's wrong baby?"

Rachel bit her lip, "are you coming back?"

Shelby sighed and pulled Rachel to sit on her lap, wiping at the girls cheeks before kissing her head softly, "I promise you darling, I promise that I will be back. I expect I'll be gone no more than an hour and a half and I promise I will call you if something comes up and I think I'm going to be any longer." Rachel nodded but Shelby knew the girl didn't believe her. "If I was planning on running off do you think I'd have offered to let you come with me?" Rachel shook her head, "and you can come if you want, I just thought you might like to have some time to yourself. You can explore the house without worrying about where I am."

"Okay"

"And you can call me every ten minutes if you like and every ten minutes I will tell you where I am and how long I'll be."

"Okay"

Shelby kissed Rachel's head again, "I'm going to go now, the sooner I leave the sooner I'll be back. And I will be back" she said forcefully, "I've waited almost fifteen years to be a part of your life, I'm not going to walk away now I've got you." Rachel nodded and stood from Shelby's lap so she could stand herself. "I love you" Shelby wrapped her arms around Rachel, "and don't answer the door to anyone while I'm gone."

Rachel nodded, "what if the phone rings?"

"Answer it" Shelby smiled, "it'll probably be me calling to make sure you're okay. If it's not me, ask who it is, tell them I'm out, ask them for a number and tell them I'll call them back okay. I doubt your fathers will call but if they do then hang up and call me straight away."

"Okay"

Shelby sighed and hugged Rachel again, "I love you darling and I'll see you real soon."

"Bye"

Shelby quickly changed from her sweats and checked that her staff pass and keys were in her bag before slipping on her shoes and grabbing a jacket, pausing for a minute before turning into the office, picking up a white envelope from the desk and pushing that in her bag too, "I'm going to take my keys" Shelby sighed as she poked her head into the living room to see Rachel sat on the sofa staring into space, her knees pulled into her chest and her chin on her knees, "Rach"

"Yeah?" her head snapped up.

"I'm going to take my keys, will you come lock the door behind me please?" Rachel nodded and walked to the hallway. "I love you" Shelby stroked Rachel's cheek with her thumb, "are you sure you don't want to come?"

Rachel shook her head, "I shouldn't need to be with you 24/7 to be okay."

"No" Shelby shook her head, "but it's okay if you want to be." She kissed Rachel's head, "I'll be home before you know it okay." Rachel nodded, "don't worry about anything, you're safe here." Again Rachel nodded and Shelby didn't know what to say any more, so she decided to leave, she knew she'd probably break more than a few speed limits to make sure she got home as quickly as she could. "I love you" she said again, kissing Rachel's head before walking out of the house and standing on the doorstep until she heard the lock click.

Rachel sighed once Shelby had left, the house was silent and she was more than a little bit scared but she knew it was stupid, she was almost 15, she shouldn't need to be with her Mom all the time. Most kids her age looked forward to being in the house alone, Rachel reached for the tv remote, she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on whatever she put on but maybe some background noise would help. She sat lost in her thoughts until the phone began to ring and she realised she'd been sat there for almost 40 minutes. "Hey it's me" Shelby said almost as soon as Rachel lifted the phone to her ear, "is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was just watching some tv" Rachel lied.

"Okay, well I've just got to the school, I shouldn't be any more than twenty minutes and I'll call you again when I'm leaving. I love you."

Rachel smiled as she did every time Shelby said those three words, "I'll see you soon?"

Shelby noted the hint of a question in Rachel's words, "you sure will sweetheart."

Rachel sighed as she hung up the phone. There was something she'd been longing to do and she felt like now was the ideal time to do it. She picked up the phone again and slipped it into her pocket along side the scrap of paper with Shelby's number before taking a deep breath, pulling back the curtain and sitting down on the top step of the basement stairs.

It took almost ten minutes but Rachel slowly made her way down the stairs, letting out a sigh of relief when she got to the bottom. She walked a slow lap around the room before stopping in front of the bookcase by the piano and running her fingers over the binders. She studied the labels before pulling out some of the binders and settling herself on the floor to look through them.

Meanwhile Shelby had sorted out the 'key crisis' and was sat in front of Carmel's principal for the second time in as many days. "I want to hand in my resignation" she said firmly pulling the envelope she'd picked up off her desk before she'd left from her bag. "I know it's short notice but I won't be returning after the Christmas break."

"May I ask why?" The principal was shocked.

"It's all in my letter of resignation, but as I told you yesterday, I'm now the guardian of a 14 year old. She's my daughter, I was a surrogate for two gay men and agreed not to have any contact with her until she was 18 however they abandoned her on my doorstep last Friday and I don't want to go in to too much detail but I think Rachel would benefit from having me around more than I can be if I'm working. She needs to come first right now."

"I can't say that you won't be missed Shelby but I completely understand that family comes first. Is there nothing we can do to make you stay? Parents are entitled to take 'maternity' leave if they adopt a child, I could..."

"No" Shelby shook her head, "I'd still hand in my resignation at the end of it. I need to be there for Rachel."

The principal nodded, "let me pull some strings and sort the leave out for you anyway. It will save you working up until Christmas at the very least." The principal had adopted three children herself and she knew the first few weeks were most important for making any child feel at home in a new environment, "she'll need you now more than ever and it seems silly for you to work your notice when you can take leave, be around for Rachel and still get full pay for a while. Do you have a solicitor or a social worker?"

Shelby nodded, "both."

"Do you have the contact details for either of them, I'll make a few calls, get the documentation I need. I know I'm not going to change your mind about resigning so once I know for certain how much leave you're entitled to I'll make your resignation effective from the end of your leave."

Shelby couldn't believe how understanding the principal was being. She thought she'd have to work at least some notice and she tried to hide her surprise as she took out the business cards she had for both her solicitor and the social worker she'd called yesterday. "I've left Rachel at home but I promised her I wouldn't be too long" she glanced at her watch, "I should really be leaving about now, would it be okay if I came back later in the week to pack up my office?"

"Of course. Keep your security pass, there'll be some paperwork I'll need your signature on before your resignation becomes 'official' so you can give it back then."

"Thanks" Shelby smiled, relief evident on her face, "I need to get going but call me if you need any more information."

The principal smiled and stood to shake Shelby's hand, "you get back to your daughter, anything I need can wait."

Rachel wasn't in the living room when Shelby returned and Shelby noticed almost instantly that the curtain she'd replaced the door to the basement with was pulled wide open. She heard Rachel play a few notes on the piano before beginning to sing so Shelby slipped off her shoes and silently padded down the stairs listening to her daughter sing.

_'Sometimes is never quite enough, if you're flawless, then you'll win their love. Don't forget to win first place, don't forget to keep that smile on your face. Be a good girl, try a little harder. You've got to measure up and make them prouder. How long before you screw it up? How many times do they have to tell you to hurry up? With everything they do for you the least you can do is keep quiet.'_

Shelby's heart broke as she listened to Rachel sing. Her heart was breaking for her daughter and she new instantly that she'd made the right decision to resign.

_'Be a good girl, you've gotta try a little harder, that simply wasn't good enough to make them proud. They'll live through you they'll make you what they never were, if you're the best, then maybe so are they, compared to him, compared to her, they're doing this for your own damn good. You'll make up for what they blew, what's the problem? Why are you crying?'_

A single tear rolled down Rachel's cheek as she finished her song.

_'Be a good girl, push a little farther now. That wasn't fast enough to make them happy. They'll love you just the way you are... If you're perfect '_

"Rachel" Shelby whispered so as to not scare her, "you are perfect baby."

Rachel span round on the piano bench, "you came back."

Shelby sat beside Rachel and used her thumbs to wipe away Rachel's tears, "I told you I would baby."

"I'm sorry" Rachel sobbed, "you said I had to tidy up if I made a mess, I didn't hear you come in, I'm sorry."

"Rachel" Shelby held Rachel's chin, "what are you talking about?" Rachel's eyes darted sideways and Shelby noticed two binders stacked neatly on top of each other beside a third open binder on the floor in front of the book case. "That's not a mess baby, and anyway I'd only expect you to put the music away when you're done with it and you obviously weren't. I'm not going to punish you for that." she said firmly, "now, there's something I want to talk to you about but first" she played a few notes on the piano, "I'm going to play something for you and I want you to listen carefully because I mean every word."

_'Made a wrong turn once or twice, dug my way out blood and fire, bad decisions that's all right. Welcome to my silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, Miss, no way it's all good, it didn't slow me down. Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated. look, I'm still around…_

_Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing. You are perfect to me_

_You're so mean when you talk about yourself. You are wrong. Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead. So complicated, look how big you'll make it. Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game. It's enough, I've done all I can think of, chased down all my demons, I'll help you do the same.'_

She didn't think the final verse would be appropriate so decided to just sing the chorus one last time. She stopped playing the piano and turned to face Rachel, resting her palms on her daughter's cheeks and using her thumbs to wipe at the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

_'Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing. You are perfect to me.'_

I don't care what anyone else says" Shelby whispered, her head falling forward until her forehead was resting against Rachel's. "Whoever you are, whatever you do I will love you. I know you don't believe me and honestly I don't know if you will ever understand until you have a child of your own, but there is nothing you could do that would make me want to leave, I will never stop loving you. Even if there's a day where you're angry and we argue and you storm off hating the world and wanting to be on your own I will love you and I'll be there for you. I might not follow you but just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't want you or love you. Just because I've not been there doesn't mean I didn't want you or love you."

Shelby heard Rachel take a shaky breath, but she never could have predicted the next five words that would come out of Rachel's mouth, "I love you too Mom."

"Oh baby" Shelby sobbed, "I love you" her grip on Rachel tightened, "I love you so much I don't ever want to let you go." They cried together for a while before Shelby wiped at Rachel's tears and kissed her damp cheeks, "there's something I need to tell you sweetheart" Shelby took hold of Rachel's chin and lifted it gently, "I promised myself I'd never keep anything from you, so you should know, I handed in my resignation whilst I was at Carmel, that's why I was a little longer than I expected to be. I've been thinking about resigning since Friday night, I thought I'd have to work some notice but the principal's going to fix it so I don't have to. I want to be here for you darling, whenever you need me to be here I want to be here, I knew, I, some nights I don't get home 'til eight, I can't, I wont do that to you."

"But, but" Rachel wanted to tell Shelby she needed a job, she wanted to ask how they were going to live without money but she didn't want to offend the woman.

"Talk to me baby" Shelby said softly, "if you're worried about money or anything then don't be, I own the house, there's no mortgage and my Nanna left me a lot of money in her will when she died, that's just been sat in the bank gathering interest. I'm not saying I'll never work again, maybe when things are a bit more settled here, maybe I'll give some private voice or piano lessons but there's no need to worry about anything baby, I'm not worried so you don't need to be."

"Why?" Rachel sobbed, her fathers had tried to spend as little time as possible with her, yet her mother had given up her job to be able to be around her, she couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until her mother got sick of her.

"I want to spend time with you darling, I don't want to see you for an hour in the morning before you go to school and an hour at night before bed. I've missed so much of your life Rachel, I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I want to help you with your homework, bake cookies for you to come home to, if you have a bad day at school I want to be here so you can tell me about it as soon as you get home."

"I, I could have transferred to Carmel"

"And you still can darling" Shelby once again wiped Rachel's tears away and tucked some hair behind her ears, "if you want to have a fresh start at Carmel or any other school nearby then you just have to say the words, baby I'd even pull you out of school completely and home school you myself if it would make you happy. Think about it okay, if you don't want to go back to McKinley all you need to do is say the words and we can start looking at other options together, I won't ever force you to go somewhere that makes you unhappy."

Rachel sighed, she wanted nothing more than to escape McKinley, no one liked her, her peers frequently called her names and shoved her into lockers, but their favourite torment was to throw slushies over her, usually several at once. She wanted to get away from there but she was scared her mother would ask why, she didn't want her mother to know what a loser she was. She realised her mom was waiting for her to say something, "thank you" she whispered.

Shelby gently placed her hands on Rachel's cheeks, "baby, I would do anything for you" she kissed her forehead, "I'm starting to get pins and needles in my butt, can we go sit on the couch?" She said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

That night Rachel decided she wanted to try and sleep on her own, Shelby tucked Rachel into the covers and made sure she had Edward Bear, "promise me you'll wake me if you need me" Shelby said softly, "promise me I wont wake up tomorrow to find you sleeping on the floor."

Rachel nodded sleepily, "I promise."

"Okay" Shelby bent to kiss Rachel's forehead, "I love you darling"

Rachel smiled, "I love you too."

Shelby flicked on the dim light beside Rachel's bed as she left the room, pausing in the doorway, "sleep well baby" she said before leaving the room, making sure the door was left ajar behind her before walking into her own room, completely exhausted and ready to climb into bed. Neither Rachel nor Shelby knew just how little sleep they'd be getting that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in italics from Perfect by Alanis Morisette (Rachel) and Perfect by Pink (Shelby)


	7. Chapter 7

A blood curdling scream woke Shelby just after 2am and within seconds she was stood by Rachel's bed, "No" she screamed as she thrashed wildly, "please Momma, please don't let them get me."

"Rachel" Shelby said loudly, placing her hand on Rachel's shoulder and shaking her firmly.

"No, please, no, I don't want to go. Get off me." Shelby didn't step back fast enough and one of Rachel's flailing arms hit her across the face hard enough to make her take a step backwards and clutch at her cheek for a moment before Rachel's screams reminded her why she was there. "No Momma, please, why aren't you stopping them. Momma. You said you loved me Momma."

Shelby could almost hear her daughter sobbing as she carefully loosened the sheets that were tangled around Rachel's body before climbing into the bed and somehow pulling the struggling girl onto her lap. "Shh baby, I'm here, I've got you. I love you and I'm never going to hurt you."

Fifteen minutes later and Rachel was still unsettled, nothing Shelby had done had woken the small girl so Shelby just held her, rocking her gently and humming a soft tune. Shelby jumped as Rachel tensed in her arms. "Please" she begged, "I'm sorry, I'll do anything. Not that, please don't, please" Rachel once again began to struggle in Shelby's arms and this time it was her knee that somehow ended up connecting painfully with Shelby's stomach.

"Come on baby" Shelby shook Rachel again as she brushed dark hair back from Rachel's sweat covered forehead, "you need to wake up now."

"Please" Rachel whimpered, "don't, I'll do anything."

Shelby sighed as she felt the leg of her pyjamas dampen. "Rachel" Shelby shook her again, "wake up please." She was getting desperate now, she was usually able to wake Rachel up straight away but not this time. "Rachel" she repeated. This time Rachel's eyes popped open and she sat up quickly.

"What...why..." She realised that not only was she wet but she was wet and sat on Shelby's lap and promptly burst into tears.

"Shh" Shelby continued to rock Rachel, "you're okay, it's okay." It took Shelby almost half an hour to calm Rachel down, "Oh baby" she sighed and kissed Rachel's head, "we can't do this every night darling, you need to get your rest."

"I'm sorry" Rachel began to get worked up again, "I'm sorry."

"Hey" Shelby kissed her again, "it's not your fault, I'm not blaming you. Did you have a nightmare when you slept with me?" Rachel shook her head, "okay, let's get cleaned up and you can sleep in my bed at least until we see the therapist and start to work through these nightmares." Shelby had already called the therapist recommended by Rachel's paediatrician, but had been unable to get an appointment until the end of the next week.

"No, I can't, I can't make you do that, you don't need to."

"I do baby. The doctor said that you need to rest up and it breaks my heart to see you like you were earlier. I can't keep doing that, I can't watch you hurting. And on a purely selfish level I love cuddling with you, if you're sleeping in my bed it means there's more time for cuddles." She hoped her last reason would lighten the mood a little, "now let's get changed and into my bed, you go clean yourself up and I'll strip the bed and bring you some clean pyjamas and then go get changed. You can come get in bed as soon as you're ready." She remembered what Rachel had been screaming in her sleep, "if I'm not in my room I'll be changing in my en suite, I'll leave the door open so you can come in if you want."

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, still playing with Shelby's shirt, "about your pyjamas."

"It's okay darling, as long as you're okay. And I'm sure I'm not the first Mom in the world to be peed on, in fact I'm sure a lot of parents have had their children do worse than pee on them."

Once Shelby got Rachel into the bathroom she made quick work of stripping the bed, she'd put the clean sheets on tomorrow. She opened Rachel's drawers and sighed when she found the girl had no clean pyjamas left. Making a mental note to put some in the laundry when they woke she just grabbing two pairs of pyjamas from her own room, leaving one outside the bathroom door for Rachel and quickly changing into the second herself.

When Shelby stepped from her ensuite she found Rachel hovering by the door, "jump in" she said with a smile, "you don't have to wait for me."

"I'm scared" Rachel admitted as she slowly walked towards the large bed.

"What about?" Rachel sighed but said nothing, "do you want to tell me what your nightmare was about?" Shelby asked.

"My dads came back" she said quietly, "they made me go home with them and you" tears filled Rachel's eyes, "you just let them take me, I was begging you to help me but you just stood and watched."

"Oh sweetheart" Shelby pulled Rachel into hug her and almost instantly Rachel began to cling to Shelby's shirt, it was as if that was her way of making sure Shelby hadn't left. "I would never let them take you from me, I let them take you once, I won't make that mistake a second time. If either of your fathers came here I wouldn't even open the door, I'd make sure you were somewhere safe and then I'd call the police." She kissed Rachel's head, "I know you don't believe it darling but I won't ever let anyone or anything hurt you. I'd put myself in danger if it meant you were safe. I know there's nothing I can do to make you believe that. I wish there was, but I'll do whatever I can to show you I'm nothing like them. I want you to feel comfortable here, I want you to feel comfortable around me and I get that that might take some time but I'll wait, whenever you need me I'll be here, day or night baby."

"I know" Rachel whispered as she sobbed into Shelby's chest, "I know you're not like them but sometimes I'm scared that you will be, eventually. That you'll get sick of me too."

"If I had a time machine I'd take you forward twenty, thirty, fourty years, I'd take you to the day you get married so you can see me there, the proudest person in the room. I'd take you to the day you have your first child so you can see me pacing the corridor waiting to hear that I'm a grandma. Birthdays, holidays I'd show you everything but I can't do that so we'll just take it one day at a time for now. You can go to sleep tonight knowing that if I'm not holding you in my arms when you wake I'll be downstairs cooking you breakfast. I'm not going to leave you and if for whatever reason I ever need to run out whilst you're still sleeping I promise I will wake you first to tell you where I'm going and when I'll be back and if possible I'll ask if you want to come with me. I'll never go anywhere without telling you where I'm going and when I'll be back. I lived without you for almost fifteen years Rachel, the worst fifteen years of my life" she kissed the tired girl's temple, "and I'm pretty sure the next fifteen years are going to be the best years of my life."

"I love you Mom"

Shelby smiled and shifted in the bed with Rachel still in her arms so she was lying under the covers, "I love you too darling and as much as I love talking to you I can barely keep my eyes open so lets get some sleep."

"What if I have another nightmare?"

"Then I'll wake you up and if I can't wake you I'll hold you until it's over."

"What if I..."

"Then we get up, we clean up and I'll change the sheets, it's not a problem." She saw the worry on Rachel's face, "would you like me to get a towel for you to lay on?" Shelby remembered what Rachel had said about her fathers making her sleep on puppy training pads and hoped offering her a towel to sleep on wouldn't bring back any bad memories.

"I could just sleep on the floor" Rachel offered.

"Don't be silly, I can't cuddle with you if you sleep on the floor. I don't mind changing the bedding if anything happens but if you're worried I'll grab you a towel, it's not a problem."

"Could, could I have a towel please?"

"Of course" Shelby reluctantly stood from the bed, "I'll go get you one." Shelby flicked on the light as she walked into her ensuite again and caught sight of herself in the mirror, her right cheek was bright red from where Rachel had hit her, she thanked god that the lighting in her bedroom was obviously too dim to make it out and she hoped it would be faded by morning, she didn't really want to explain what had happened. She took a moment to inspect her stomach, there was no mark at the moment but it felt tender and she was sure it would bruise but at least she could keep her stomach covered.

"Come on now" Shelby said softly once Rachel was settled on the towel, "lets get some sleep" she'd made sure to leave the light of her ensuite on and the door open so she was able to flick off the light by her bed. "What's wrong?" Shelby asked a while later as she felt Rachel shift for what felt like the millionth time.

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, "I didn't mean to interrupt your sleep, I'll go and sleep in my own bed I'm sorry."

"There aren't any sheets on your bed, are you struggling to get settled?"

"Yeah" Rachel sighed quietly, and Shelby knew the young girl was close to tears.

"Come on" she let go of Rachel, "shuffle, fidget, get it out, wiggle then get comfortable." Rachel rolled over to face Shelby and laid still for a moment, "comfy?" Rachel nodded and Shelby kissed her forehead, wrapping her in her arms again, "okay, close your eyes" Rachel did as she was told, "clear your head, just concentrate on me."

" _I can see it's hurting you I can feel your pain, it's hard to see the sunshine through the rain. I know sometimes it seems as if it's never gonna end, but you'll get through it, just don't give in 'cause you can count on me through thick and thin. This mother's love will never end, when you are weak I will be strong, helping you to carry on. Call on me, I will be there, don't be afraid. Please believe me when I say, count on me_." It didn't take much, just one verse and a chorus and Rachel was gone. Shelby felt her daughter relax against her and sighed, "I love you" she whispered, kissing Rachel's head before finally closing her own eyes.

Shelby woke just a few hours later to find herself laid on her back with Rachel literally laid on top of her. Rachel had shuffled down the bed slightly and she laid with her head on her mothers chest and her legs between Shelby's, Edward Bear's leg grasped loosely in Rachel's right hand. Shelby smiled and brushed some hair back from Rachel's face. Her daughter looked so much younger when she was sleeping. It was obvious that she felt safe with Shelby, even if she didn't feel able to admit it yet. Rachel frowned in her sleep and Shelby gently ran her fingers over the crumpled brow, smiling slightly when the action turned Rachel's frown into a smile. Her stomach ached even under Rachel's slight weight but Shelby knew she'd lay like this forever if it meant Rachel was happy.

"Momma" Rachel mumbled sleepily almost an hour later before frowning, "momma".

Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "I'm here darling, I'm here."

"Momma?" Rachel sounded confused and she slowly opened her eyes, blinking a few times as she woke up fully. "Momma".

"What's wrong baby?"

"I'm, what, I, I..." She shook her head and closed her eyes again, snuggling her head against Shelby's chest.

"Shh, you're okay" Shelby rubbed Rachel's back until she was certain Rachel had fallen back to sleep. It was another half an hour before Rachel opened her eyes again, "morning" Shelby smiled as Rachel tilted her head to look at her, "are you awake this time?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah, why, why wouldn't I be?"

"You sort of woke up about half an hour ago, you said my name a couple of times and then tried to say something else but you fell back to sleep again."

"I'm sorry I woke you" Rachel whispered, her hands once again finding the hem of Shelby's shirt before she gasped, "I'm laying on you, I'm so sorry" she tried to roll away but Shelby held her tightly.

"You didn't wake me, I've been awake for a while, and I don't mind you laying on me."

"You can't be comfortable."

Shelby smiled, her stomach ached terribly from where Rachel had kicked her during her nightmare but she said nothing, "it's fine" she lied, "as long as you're comfortable." They laid in silence for a while, Rachel playing with the hem of Shelby's shirt and Shelby running her fingers through Rachel's hair, before Shelby spoke again. "I read some baby books when I was pregnant" she told Rachel, "they all said that you could hear my heartbeat, that it'd be reassuring for you. I begged your fathers to lie like this with you when you were born. I wish I could have done it myself, I'm so sorry baby. I wish I could have done this sooner, I wish, I wish I'd been there baby."

"You're here now" Rachel whispered, her tears dripping from her cheek and soaking Shelby's shirt. "I, when I was younger I used to sit in the basement and beg you to save me. I used to dream about you coming and rescuing me and you have, you've saved me but being with you is so much better than it ever was in my dreams."

"That's because dreams end" Shelby whispered as her own tears began falling down her cheeks, "dreams end but I promise you baby, this is forever."

"I told them once" Rachel sighed, "I told them that one day you were going to rescue me. They said, they said you didn't love me and you never wanted me. They said you only had me because you wanted the money they gave you."

"That's not true" Shelby said defensively. "I had you because your fathers seemed like nice men desperate to have be parents, I signed a contract saying I wouldn't see you until you were 18 before I even got pregnant darling. But the second I heard the doctor congratulate your fathers I regretted it. You were the size of a pea when I had my first ultrasound but as soon as I saw you, I'll be honest I didn't even know where you were, the sonographer had to point you out, but the second I saw you I felt an overwhelming urge to do nothing but protect you. I was going to run away, get out of Lima and bring you up myself but Hiram found out and either he or Leroy were always around from then on. As for the money, I worked my backside off in dead end, underpaid jobs to send myself to college. All the money your fathers gave me for having you is in a trust fund for you. You'll get it all on your 18th birthday, I haven't had a single cent from it, I'm not sure how much is in there now but its all yours sweetheart."

"You've always loved me?"

"From the second I knew you existed. I've loved you so much."

"Why, why didn't you have any more children?"

"I thought about it" Shelby was honest, "but I knew no matter how many other children I had, They'd never be you." Rachel's stomach rumbled and Shelby was slightly glad of the interruption to the conversation, "come on" she kissed Rachel's head, "let's go get some breakfast.

Rachel rolled off Shelby and Shelby stood from the bed, stretching her arms above her head as she did so. She managed to stifle a groan of pain but she didn't notice the top of her pyjamas ride up showing Rachel the beginnings of a large bruise on her stomach, "what, what's that?" Rachel asked slowly.

"Nothing" Shelby quickly pulled her shirt back down, "it's nothing."

Rachel quickly put two and two together, "did, did I do that?" her voice shook and her eyes filled with tears, "oh God, I'm sorry" she whimpered, curling herself into a ball, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She closed her eyes as she waited for Shelby to hit her, she'd blown it now, she'd never physically injured either of her fathers so she could only imagine what Shelby was going to do to her, she couldn't shut her in the basement, maybe she had a garage or a cupboard or something, or maybe Shelby would jut throw her out, there was no way she'd let her stay now. Rachel could already feel the sting in her backside even though Shelby hadn't hit her yet. She felt the bed dip beside her and braced herself, she jumped in shock when she felt a soft hand gently wipe away her tears.

"Hey, it's okay." Rachel felt Shelby lift her from the bed and expected to be placed over Shelby's lap for a spanking but instead found herself cradled in her mother's arms the way she had so many times over the past few days. "Calm down baby, you're okay."

"I, I hurt you" Rachel whispered, "I bruised you and, and I was laying on it, you must have been in so much pain, I, I'm sorry. Are you going to punish me now or later? I shouldn't have asked you that I'm sorry".

Rachel as getting hysterical and Shelby knew she needed to calm her down before she had a full blown panic attack, "Calm down baby, deep breaths, come on, you're okay" she rubbed Rachel's back and kept her own breathing steady, encouraging Rachel to match it until she finally calmed down slightly, "I'm not going to punish you for this Rachel so you can stop worrying."

"But I hurt you, I hurt you, I deserve to be punished."

"Did you do it on purpose?" Shelby asked and Rachel shook her head. "There we are then. You didn't even know you'd done it until you saw the bruise just then. You were having a nightmare, you didn't mean to hurt me. Sure, if we'd have been arguing and you'd have lashed out in anger then yes I'd probably have punished you but you didn't. You were scared baby and you obviously thought I was someone else."

"You let me sleep on you."

"Yeah"

"So I hurt you and then you let me hurt you again."

Shelby sighed, "Baby it broke my heart to see you fighting whatever you were fighting last night, when I woke up and you were sleeping on me, it was the most peaceful I've ever seen you, I was so happy to see you happy and relaxed that I didn't even think about my stomach, and it doesn't even hurt that much" she lied, "I'll take a couple of painkillers after breakfast and I'll be as good as new." She knew Rachel wasn't convinced, "it's just a bruise darling, nothing life threatening. I'm not worried so you don't need to be either." Shelby rocked Rachel until she'd finally calmed down and she knew she'd have to keep a close eye on the girl. A quick glance downwards and Shelby noticed Rachel had cried herself to sleep, "oh baby" Shelby sighed kissing her head, "I'm never going to hurt you." Shelby's own stomach rumbled and she carefully lifted Rachel into her arms, carrying her down the stairs before laying her on the sofa and covering her with a blanket.

When Rachel woke again it was almost lunch time and she was laid on the sofa with her head in Shelby's lap, "I'm sorry" she mumbled.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for" Shelby said sincerely, "do you want something to eat now?"

Rachel shook her head, "I don't deserve anything" she said so quietly Shelby almost didn't hear her.

"Rachel, look at me" Rachel twisted slightly so she could look at Shelby, "I'm not going to punish you for this so please, please don't feel like you need to punish yourself. Even if I was going to punish you I wouldn't do it by taking away your food, you don't have to 'earn' meals. I'd like you to eat something baby but if you don't feel up to eating I'd like you to have a protein shake or a smoothie or something so you don't get sick." Rachel didn't say anything, "will you try and eat something?"

"I, I don't think I can" Rachel said truthfully, her stomach was in knots and she was certain if she ate anything she'd just vomit it straight back up again.

"Okay" Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair, "I'm going to make you a smoothie for now. Will you tell me if you get hungry?" Rachel nodded even though she knew she wouldn't, her fathers had taught her long ago that she should never ask for anything, if someone wanted her to have something they'd give it her.

Shelby smiled at Rachel as she placed the smoothie on the coffee table in front of Rachel, "here you go" she held a spoon out to Rachel, "it's quite thick so I bought you a spoon."

"Thank you" Rachel whispered, her dark hair falling forward to hide her face as she took the spoon from her mother."

"It's okay" Shelby brushed back Rachel's hair to kiss her daughter's forehead, "I'm going to tidy my breakfast things away, call me if you need anything." Rachel couldn't look Shelby in the eye so Shelby sat on the edge of the coffee table. "I mean it darling, anything." She sighed as she got no response, "I love you baby, whatever you might be thinking right now I love you and I'm not angry with you. You are more than welcome to eat that in the kitchen while I tidy things up but you are equally as welcome to eat it in here." Rachel nodded, "I'll just be in the kitchen baby. I love you" she repeated, kissing Rachel again before standing from the table and walking to the kitchen. Today was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyris in italics from Count on Me by Whitney Houston


	8. Chapter 8

Shelby sighed as her phone began to ring on the coffee table a little after three, Rachel had hardly said two words to her since that morning and, she sat curled into her self in the armchair, not allowing herself to seek out the comfort she knew only her mother could give her, "Hey" Shelby was going to ignore the call, only answering when she saw her sister's name flashing up on the screen, "what's up?" Shelby left the room to speak to her sister and sighed when she entered the room a while later to find Rachel still curled into the armchair staring into space, "Rach, Rachel baby, can we talk?" she sat on the edge of the coffee table, "that was my sister Amy on the phone, her son's had an asthma attack, he's fine but she wants to take him to the hospital to get him checked over, she wanted to know if I'd watch my niece. I told her you were here and I'd have to make sure you were okay with it. If not I said we'd drop her off at my Mom's."

"What, what are they called?"

"Her son is called Max, he's five, almost six and her daughter is Lily, she just turned three."

Rachel nodded, "okay".

"Are you okay with her coming over? Shelby asked, "I don't mind taking her to my Mom's and Amy said she'd understand if you'd rather not have her bugging you."

"No, it's okay" Rachel said quietly, "she can come over" of course she could, she was Shelby's family, she couldn't ask Shelby to send them away just because she was there.

"Okay" Shelby leant forward and placed her hand on Rachel's knee, "can we put an end to all this now please. I can't sit watching you hate yourself any longer. I'm not going to punish you for what happened and I think you've punished yourself enough. We've got about twenty minutes until Amy gets here with Lily and I'd like to spend it holding you."

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered.

"It's okay" Shelby pulled Rachel from the armchair and sat in it herself before pulling Rachel back down onto her lap, "it's okay baby, it happened we've dealt with it and it's over. Let's just put it behind us and move on."

By the time Shelby's sister arrived Rachel had once again cried herself to sleep in Shelby's arms. Shelby laid the sleeping girl on the sofa when she heard Amy open the front door, praying she could warn them that Rachel was sleeping before they woke her.

"Hey" Amy greeted her older sister, "thanks for doing this" she passed the toddler and a bag over to Shelby, "I'm hoping we won't have to stay in but I've packed her some pyjamas, a pull up and a bottle just in case. I'll ring you when I know what's happening."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "I'd introduce you to Rachel but she's sleeping, it's been a tough day."

"Oh God" Amy sighed, "what happened? Are you sure you're going to be okay with Lil? I can take her to Mom's if you'd rather."

"Rachel has nightmares" Shelby told Amy, "last night was the worst so far, I, I couldn't wake her" Shelby felt her eyes fill with tears, "I couldn't wake her so I got in bed with her to try and calm her down, I was holding her, she was obviously fighting something, and, well" Shelby shifted Lily slightly so she could lift her shirt up and show Amy the bruise, "I wasn't going to tell her, but she saw it. I told her I wouldn't punish her but it's like she felt like she needed to punish herself. I don't know, I do know, oh Amy, they were so terrible to her."

"Oh Shel" Amy sighed, pulling her sister into a half hug, "you've got her now though, that's what matters."

"I know" Shelby used her free hand to wipe at her eyes, "I just wish I had her all along."

It was then that Lily noticed Shelby's tears and reached out to help wipe them away, "No be sad An'Lelly"

"I'm okay Lil" Shelby forced a smile, "I'm okay."

"Can I see her?" Amy asked, "I promise I won't be long, Maxy's waiting in the car."

Shelby thought for a second before nodding, "okay. She's in here" Shelby carried Lily into the living room where Rachel was asleep on the sofa.

"Oh my God" Amy gasped as she followed her sister into the room, "she's your double, she's tiny though, how old did you say she was?"

"She's fifteen a week before Christmas."

"Poor thing" Amy sighed, "I'm sure living here will do her the world of good, you'll be so good with her Shelly, you're great with all our kids, and I know Rachel's a little older but, she'll love you, she's a lucky girl to have you."

"Thanks" Shelby smiled, "mentally, she's still so young, she's begging for someone to love her. All I seem to do is hold her."

"If that's what she needs Shel...She's probably never had someone just sit and hold her. I really wish I could stay and tell you how great you're doing, but Max..."

"I understand, go, we'll be fine."

"Okay" Amy smiled, "I'll call you when we've seen the doctor, and you can call me whenever okay. You were there for me when I had my kids, I plan on being here now you've got yours. I love you" She kissed Shelby's cheek before leaning over and kissing her daughter, "I love you Lil, be good for Auntie Lelly"

"Say bye to Mommy" Shelby prompted and Lily smiled.

"Bye Mumma" she waved before blowing a kiss, "'love 'oo"

"Love you too" Amy smiled blowing Lily one final kiss before leaving the house.

Lily was laid on the floor, on her stomach, scribbling on some paper Shelby had given her when Rachel woke, "Hey sleepyhead" Shelby smiled and ran her hand through Rachel's hair, "are you feeling better?"

Rachel nodded, "I'm sorry, about earlier."

"Hey" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "it's okay. Are you hungry? It's been a while since you ate."

"I hung'y An'Lelly" Lily spoke up, something that bought tears to Shelby's eyes, Lily had just turned three but already she knew that whatever she needed, all she had to do was ask and someone would get it for her. Rachel could be starving hungry and she wouldn't dare ask for so much as a glass of water.

"Are you darling?" Shelby asked Lily, "how about you come over and say hi to Rachel then we'll all go have a snack, it's too early to have dinner just yet."

Lily nodded and scribbled on her paper for a couple more seconds before she stood up with her picture in her hand, "for you" she said, uncharacteristically shyly as she held out the paper towards Rachel.

Rachel took the drawing, to her it was just coloured scribbles, but even though she'd never been around small children, she knew to Lily this was a masterpiece, "Thank you" she smiled back, "it's beautiful."

Lily smiled, "Come on Rae, is snack time" she reached for Rachel's hand and pulled her from the sofa, leading her to the kitchen, "An'Lelly" Lily called, "come on, snack time." Shelby smiled as she followed the girls into the kitchen, maybe having Lily around for a while would be good for Rachel.

"Okay, what do you want?" Shelby asked as she walked into the kitchen and opened a cupboard, wondering what she could give the girls that wouldn't fill them up so much they wouldn't eat later. Both Rachel and Lily were already sat at the table, something Shelby assumed was down to Lily.

"I want apple An'Lelly" Lily said decisively.

"Magic word?" Shelby asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"P'ease An'Lelly, p'ease." Lily said with a cheeky smile

"Okay" Shelby grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the side, that was easy, now for the hard part, "what do you want Rach?"

"I, I don't..."

Shelby wasn't going to let Rachel say she wasn't hungry so she didn't let her finish, "would you like some fruit too? Or a yoghurt, or would you prefer something savoury?"

"I don't know" Rachel whispered.

"There's some pineapple left, we could share that if you wanted?"

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "thank you."

"It's okay" she said with a smile, taking the small plastic tub of pineapple out of the fridge and passing it to Rachel.

"An'Lelly, I no like Nineapple."

"I know you don't" Shelby said with a smile, "that's why I'm just about to cut you this apple up."

"Thank you An'Lelly" Lily grinned as Shelby placed the apple in front of her before sitting beside Rachel and eating a chunk of pineapple. She watched both girls for a while and it broke her heart, Lily happily ate her apple slices, singing quietly to herself between bites and Shelby could tell her legs would be swinging softly under the table. Rachel however looked terrified, she sat stiffly and she ate only occasionally. Lily was the child she'd always hoped Rachel would be, she was happy, carefree and a little bit cheeky. Shelby couldn't believe how wrong she'd been.

"I done" Lily said with a smile once she'd eaten all her apple.

"Okay" Shelby smiled, and pushed the last piece of pineapple over to Rachel, "let's wash your hands then you can go play."

"Rae play too?" Lily asked as Shelby lifted her up to watch her hands at the kitchen sink.

"I don't know" Shelby said as she stood Lily on the floor and passed her a towel to dry her hands on, "you'll have to ask Rachel if she wants to play with you"

"Play with me?" Lily walked slowly over to Rachel, "p'ease"

Rachel looked at Shelby and the woman smiled at her daughter, she wouldn't force her, "how about I get your blocks out?" Shelby suggested, "we can all play together"

Lily's face lit up, "Will you Rae?"

Rachel nodded, slightly reassured by the fact that Shelby wouldn't leave her alone with Lily, "Okay, I just need to wash my hands."

"Lily and I will go get her blocks, we'll be in the living room when you're done". Shelby was Amy's go to babysitter so she had toys for both Max and Lily in the cupboard under the stairs, "Here we go" she pulled out the two boxes of megablox, a red one that Max had now decided he was too old for, and a pink one She had bought for Lily, "do you want anything else out?" Shelby asked, "or just the blocks?"

Lily frowned for a moment before smiling and reaching into the big pink box her toys were kept in, "Dolly" she grinned, pulling out a large rag doll and hugging it tightly.

Rachel, Shelby, Lily and Dolly played happily for over an hour before Shelby announced she was going to make a start on dinner, she left Rachel with Lily but only after promising her daughter that she wouldn't be gone long. When she returned, Rachel was sat cross legged on the floor and Lily was sat on her lap. Shelby could tell Lily was tired, she'd stopped playing with the blocks and was chatting to Rachel, holding Dolly to her chest.

"Dinner will be about twenty minutes" Shelby smiled as she made her presence known in the room, "and then I think it's time for someone to lie down for a little bit" she ruffled Lily's hair, "did you have a nap this afternoon?

Lily shook her head, "no"

"Are you tired?" Lily nodded, "We'll have dinner and then you can lie down for a little bit okay?"

Lily nodded, "I have my milk?"

Shelby shook her head, "you only have your milk at bed time Lil, you know that, you can have some regular milk though, or some juice."

Lily nodded, "okay"

Shelby was just about to put dinner onto plates when her phone rang again, "That was Amy" Shelby told Rachel, "Max had another asthma attack while they were waiting to see a doctor, he's fine but they said his chest still sounds a bit wheezy so they're going to keep him in over night just as a precaution, her husband Jimmy's on his way but he works in Chicago so he probably won't get here until the early hours. Are you okay if Lily stays here tonight and Jimmy picks her up in the morning? If you're not 100% comfortable baby then that's fine, I can take her over to my Mom's and Jim can pick her up from there."

Rachel shook her head "No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

Rachel nodded, "she's here already, and she's tired, it makes sense for her to sleep here."

"Okay" Shelby kissed Rachel's head, "I'm just about to put dinner out, would you mind getting Lily for me?"

Rachel shook her head, "what, what's for dinner?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing special" Shelby smiled, "just pasta and some vegetables."

"Okay" Rachel smiled slightly, "I'll go get Lily."

"Your Momma called me Lily" Shelby said as she watched the young girl pick sleepily at her pasta, "Max has to stay at the hospital tonight so you're going to sleep here and Daddy's going to get you in the morning."

Rachel had to blink back tears as she saw Lily's face light up at the mention of her father, "Daddy's coming?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "he's on his way now but he wont get here til late so you're going to sleep here and he'll come get you in the morning."

"I'm sleepy now An'Lelly"

"I know you are" Shelby smiled softly, "finish your dinner and you can have a bath and go to bed, Momma left a bottle for you just in case."

"My milk?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "your milk." Shelby saw Rachel frown at the mention of Lily's milk, she remembered Shelby calling milk 'regular milk' earlier and she wondered what was so special about the milk in Lily's bottle. "I'll explain later" she whispered in her daughter's ear.

Rachel nodded before looking at her plate, "I don't think I can eat any more, I'm, I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Shelby noted that Rachel had eaten even less than Lily had, "do you want to go watch a movie or something? I'm going to give Lily a bath when she's done and get her in bed so I can spend an hour or two with you before we go to bed."

"Yeah" Rachel sighed sadly as she stood and placed her plate in the dishwasher, "okay." She didn't really want to watch a dvd, she'd much rather stay with Shelby but Shelby had Lily to look after, Rachel needed to look after herself.

Rachel was sat in front of the tv, not really paying any attention to what was playing when Shelby's phone began to vibrate on the table and Rachel cautiously carried it up the stairs to where Shelby was bathing Lily, "your phone's ringing" she said quietly, "it erm, it says it's your Mom."

"Thanks" Shelby took the phone from Rachel, "can you watch Lily for a minute, I'll be back soon."

Shelby left the bathroom to talk to her Mom and Rachel knelt down by the bath where Lily was playing amongst the bubbles with a rubber duck and a yellow plastic boat, "Rae play" she handed Rachel the duck, "quack quack!" Lilly reached under the bubbles and frowned slightly before smiling and lifting out a frog, splashing Rachel with warm water and bubbles in the process, "wibbit."

Rachel smiled, "quack quack" she bounced the duck gently on the water before tapping it softly on Lily's nose causing the young girl to giggle loudly, neither girl noticing that Shelby had finished on the phone and was stood in the doorway.

She watched them play for a while before walking over to them and running her hands through Rachel's hair, "I'm back, you can go back downstairs if you like" Rachel leant her head against Shelby's leg, "or you can stay up here, I don't mind, Lily seems to love you" she knelt down beside her daughter and Lily was quick to pass her the boat. "My mom wanted to know how Lily was doing" she told Rachel as she splashed the boat about in the water to entertain Lily, "I told her you were here. She wanted to know why I hadn't told her already" she saw Rachel's face fall, "I'm not ashamed of you or anything, just so you know. My Mom can just be a little" she searched for the right word, "overwhelming sometimes. I told her that I wanted you to get settled in here before I introduced you to everyone, and I really just want to spend some time just the two of us for a while too. She understood and suggested we all go round for dinner on boxing day. I said I'd ask you first, I usually go round for Christmas but I'd like us to spend our first Christmas together together, without all the kids and my crazy parents causing chaos."

Rachel nodded, "that, that sounds good" she paused for a moment before asking, "how many nieces and nephews have you got?"

"Well Amy's just got Max and Lily but I don't think it'll be long before she's got a third one on the way, Luke's got three children, Holly, Jade and Rhys, Holly's 4, Jade's 2 and Rhys is" she thought for a minute "7 months. And Matt" she laughed, "Matt's got six kids. They had three boys, Alex, Henry and Sam after they had Sam they decided they'd have one last baby, they wanted a girl, but, to cut a long story short they ended up having IVF and well, seven months later they had triplets, three girls, Jessie, Cora and Phoebe. So that makes" Shelby counted on her fingers, "eleven" Rachel's shocked face caused Shelby to laugh and kiss her forehead, "welcome to the crazy! But seriously baby, if you feel overwhelmed by it all then you just have to say and we can leave" she kissed Rachel again before turning her attention back to Lily, "come on Lil, lets get you out before you turn into a prune."

Rachel was like Shelby's shadow as she dressed Lily in her pyjamas and got her settled in Rachel's bed, "if Lily's in my bed, where will I sleep?" Rachel asked after Shelby had read to Lily and they'd left the young girl to fall asleep.

"I thought we agreed last night" Shelby frowned, "that you'd sleep with me for a while to see if it helps your nightmares."

"But, but, I hurt you."

"That doesn't matter darling, you need to get a good night's sleep and it seems like you don't get that if you sleep alone. I'm not going to force you into sleeping on your own just because you accidentally caught me while you were having a nightmare. If you don't want to share with me then that's a different matter, I'll move Lily in with me and you can have your own bed back, it's your decision, but please baby, please don't force yourself to sleep alone because you think it's what you deserve."

Rachel couldn't look Shelby in the eye, "can, can I sleep in with you?"

"Of course you can, do you want to watch some tv or something or do you want to get in bed and watch a dvd?"

"I don't mind" Rachel said truthfully, no matter what was on she never seemed to be able to concentrate.

"How about we go downstairs, we can snuggle on the sofa whilst we watch something, I think there's some ice cream in the freezer too if you fancy it."

Rachel smiled, "that sounds good."

"Earlier" Shelby spoke softly as they laid together on the sofa, Shelby in the recliner, Rachel's head in her lap, "you were wondering about Lily's milk.

"I, I shouldn't have, it's none of my business"

"It doesn't matter, it's not some big secret, Amy would tell you herself, she breastfed Lily and Max, Max weaned himself almost as soon as he started walking, like he'd discovered how many other, more interesting things there were, but Lily, nothing Amy tried would get Lily to wean so she still feeds her, she expresses a bottle for her to have before her nap and then she nurses at night, but obviously Amy's not here tonight so she sent her with a bottle."

"Oh"

Shelby smiled, "don't feel like you need to keep it to yourself, everyone in the family knows and no one minds, it's not a secret, Amy says she'll only be worried if Lil still wants to nurse once she's at school. Max doesn't mind either, Amy, and Jim when he's home, make sure to spend some time with him too so he doesn't feel like he's missing out."

"Okay."

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair as the girl shook her head, "are you sure darling? You don't seem yourself tonight."

"I'm okay" Rachel whispered, "just tired I guess."

"You should have said, we could have gone to bed."

"I sleep too much" Rachel sighed.

"You can have as much sleep as you need baby, no one's going to stop you sleeping if you're tired, come on, let's go get settled upstairs."

Rachel was already awake the next morning when, just after 6am, Lily pushed open the door to Shelby's room, a stuffed giraffe hanging from her right hand "hey" Rachel whispered softly so she didn't wake Shelby, "are you okay?"

"'m tired" Lily mumbled as she rubbed her eyes sleepily, "wan' An'Lelly".

Rachel lifted the corner of the duvet, "An'Lelly's sleeping" she told Lily, "but you can get in here" she said. She had no idea if she was allowed to let Lily in the bed, but she couldn't turn the small girl a away and Shelby didn't seem to mind sharing her bed with her daughter, so Rachel figured she wouldn't mind sharing it with her niece too.

"T'ank you" Lily grinned sleepily as she snuggled into Rachel, "love 'oo".

Rachel smiled, sometimes she felt like Shelby loved her because she had to, but this was different, Lily was three years old, Rachel doubted she'd be able to fake it. "I love you too Lily." She ran her fingers through Lily's messy hair the way Shelby had done to her so many times, "close your eyes and get some sleep."

Lily nodded into Rachel's chest, "'m tired Rae."

"Go to sleep then."

"and you sleep."

"Yeah" Rachel nodded "I'll sleep too"

Rachel tried to sleep, but half an hour later, when Lily kicked her in the ribs for the ninth time, she sighed and climbed over the toddler, pausing to make sure she hadn't woken Shelby before leaving the room and laying on her own bed.

"Are you okay?" Rachel jumped at the sound of her mother's voice and as she rolled over to face the door she could tell Shelby was still half asleep.

"Yeah" Rachel bit her bottom lip, "I'm fine."

"No you're not" Shelby said as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed, "when I fell asleep Lily was in here and you were in with me, but now you're in here and Lily's in my bed."

"She came in, she said she was tired and she wanted you but you were sleeping" Rachel explained, "so I let her get in, I'm sorry, I shouldn't, I know I should have asked you but I didn't want to wake you."

"Hey" Shelby reached out to wipe away the lone tear that had rolled down Rachel's cheek, "I don't mind Lily being in my bed, but why are you in here?"

"I couldn't sleep" she said truthfully.

"Was Lily's fidgeting keeping you awake? I know it can be like sharing a bad with a worm sometimes."

"Yeah" Rachel couldn't look Shelby in the eye, "she is a bit wriggly."

Shelby frowned, she could tell something else was on Rachel's mind, "What's wrong beautiful?" she asked, "and please don't say nothing because I can tell there's something worrying you."

Rachel sighed, "can I ask you something?"

Shelby nodded, "of course, anything."

"Please, please don't be angry."

"I won't baby. What do you want to ask me?"

"Yesterday, after I" she gestured to Shelby's stomach, "you said if I'd hurt you on purpose you'd punish me."

"Yeah" Shelby frowned.

"How, how would you do it?"

"How would I punish you?" Shelby clarified. Rachel nodded, "I guess that depends on what you did. I will never, never hit you though, my parents never spanked me and I think I grew up okay. We'd sit down first I think, talk about what you did, why you did it, I'd like to think we'd be able to find a way to stop it ever happening again. I'd maybe take away your cellphone or your laptop for a couple of days, I don't know." Shelby thought for a minute, "you said your dads spanked you if you didn't get A grades?" Rachel nodded, "and I've already told you all I expect is for you to try your best, but if I found out you'd missed an assignment or handed some work in late you'd have to come straight home after school and do your homework as soon as you got in, but if you're struggling then please tell me. I can't help you if I don't know you need help."

"What if I need a spanking?" Rachel asked.

"You won't" Shelby said instantly, "I'm nearing 40 and neither of my parents have ever spanked me and I will never spank you. I don't think anything you could ever do would make me want to hit you so please stop worrying about it because it won't happen."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be" Shelby kissed Rachel's head, "I'm glad you felt like you could talk to me about it." Rachel yawned and Shelby smiled, "come on" she held out her hand, "lets go get some more sleep before Lily wakes up, I'll sleep in the middle, protect you from the worm."

Rachel smiled and allowed Shelby to help her from the bed, "Mom" she whispered softly right before they walked into Shelby's room, waiting for Shelby to turn and face her before whispering, "I love you."

"Oh baby" Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead and pulled her into a hug, "I love you too darling, I always have and I always will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to put a face to Amy, in my head, she's played by Jackie Burns.


	9. Chapter 9

"Knock knock" Jimmy called loudly as he walked into Shelby's house.

"Dadda" Lily screeched as she flew from where she sat watching cartoons with Shelby, grinning as she saw her Daddy in the hallway and jumping into his open arms.

"Hey beautiful" Jim smiled, hugging Lily tightly and kissing her hair, "have you been good for Auntie Lelly?" Lily nodded and Jim smiled up at Shelby as she walked into the hallway, "hey" he kissed her cheek, "thanks for having her, was she okay?"

"Of course she was, she always is."

Jim laughed, "yeah, right."

Rachel watched from the top of the stairs as a man she assumed to be Amy's husband spoke to Shelby, Lily sitting quietly on his hip, "how's Max?" Shelby asked.

"He's fine, Amy rang me just before I came over. They put him on the nebuliser just after he was admitted and gave him some oxygen but he's been fine since. The doctor does his rounds at 11 and he'll be discharged once he's had a final check over, they should be home by lunch time." He lowered his voice, "I think she wants to come over to see you, she's worried about you."

Shelby smiled and shook her head, "she doesn't need to be, I'm fine, she should be home with Lily and Max, tell her I'll call her though." She glanced up the stairs and saw Rachel standing shyly on the top step, "come say hello honey" she held out her hand and allowed Rachel to cuddle into her as soon as she was within reach, "this is Jimmy, Amy's husband, Jim, this is Rachel my daughter."

Jimmy saw Shelby's face light up as she called Rachel her daughter and he couldn't help but smile too, "Amy said she looked like you Shell but I had no idea, are you sure she's not your sister?"

Shelby laughed and squeezed Rachel gently, "I was in labour for three days, I think I can safely say she's my daughter."

Jimmy smiled, "well it's great to meet you Rachel."

"Its a pleasure to meet you too Sir" Rachel said politely, unable to look him in the eye.

Amy had told Jim what Shelby had told her about Rachel's past so he spoke softly to her, "you don't need to call me sir" he told her, "Jim or Jimmy's fine."

"Dadda" Lily lifted her head from Jim's shoulder so she could get his attention, "Rae my f'end".

"Is she?" he asked with a smile, "I hope you were nice to her."

Lily nodded, "we play and she sleep in An'Lely's bed with me."

"I bet she didn't get much sleep once you were there, you're full of wriggles" he said as he tickled Lily's ribs.

They stood chatting for a while before Amy rang Jim to say Max had been discharged and they were on their way home. Lily insisted on giving Rachel a huge hug and kiss before she'd leave and Shelby knew Rachel had made a firm friend in her young niece.

"Shelby Corcoran" Shelby answered the house phone as it began to ring later that afternoon, Rachel had once again fallen asleep on the sofa after lunch and Shelby was quick to answer the phone before it woke the sleeping girl.

"Ms Corcoran, it's Anne Jackson, the social worker, we spoke earlier in the week."

"Oh, hi, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, I know we have an appointment set up for tomorrow but I'm going to be in your area in a little while and I wondered if it would be convenient for me to stop by, I have a couple of papers I need your signature on and the sooner they get signed the sooner we can get the custody ball rolling."

Shelby smiled to herself, her solicitor had warned her that the social worker may drop by with very little notice, but she had nothing to hide, "sure, we'll be in all afternoon, do you have a rough idea of what time you'll be here, Rachel has just fallen asleep and I don't want to wake her too soon, she needs to rest."

"I could be with you for three" the social worker suggested.

Shelby looked at her watch, it was just after one, she could let Rachel sleep for an hour and half before waking her with enough time to freshen up before the visit, "three would be fine".

"Brilliant, well I look forward to meeting you then."

Shelby said her goodbyes before hanging up the phone, and going to tidy up a few things. She woke Rachel just over an hour later, kissing her forehead before shaking her softly, "Rachel baby, it's time to wake up."

"Momma" Rachel whimpered as she spoke, "what..."

"The social worker called while you were asleep" Shelby explained as she sat on the edge of the coffee table, "she's coming over at three, it's a little before 2.30, I thought you'd like some time to wake up before she got here.

Rachel sat up slowly and rubbed at her eyes, "why, what, what if they take me away?"

Shelby moved to sit beside Rachel and hugged her tightly, "no one is going to take you anywhere darling, "all the social worker will be doing is making sure that you're happy and safe here and that I'm able to support you, not only financially but emotionally and physically and I know that I'm more than capable of doing that. You're safe here and I think once you allow yourself, you'll be happy here too."

Rachel nodded, she knew her mother was right but she was still terrified.

After the social worker introduced herself to Shelby and Rachel she spoke to Shelby for a while, Shelby explained how she'd resigned but had plenty of money in savings to ensure she and Rachel could live comfortably before she explained, once again, how Rachel ended up in her care

"So Rachel" The social worker turned her attention to the girl a while later, "how about you show me where you're sleeping?" She needed to see that Rachel had an appropriate place to sleep, and she frowned when she saw Rachel shoot a scared glance at Shelby and the pair seemed to communicate silently for a while before she spoke up, "does someone want to tell me what's going on?"

"Rachel has her own room" Shelby spoke, "but she has nightmares when she sleeps alone, I've booked her an appointment for a therapist, but in the mean time she's been sleeping in with me."

"Okay" the social worker nodded and wrote something down on her notepad, "when are you seeing the therapist?" she asked Rachel, trying to engage the young girl in conversation.

Rachel looked at Shelby and she nodded, trying to encourage Rachel to speak, "next week" she whispered, "Thursday I think" she looked to Shelby again and Shelby nodded.

"Next Thursday at 4pm, the therapist was recommended by the pedeatrician, that was the first free appointment I could get for her."

The social worker once again scribbled something in her notebook before she spoke again, "well how about you show me your room Rachel?"

Rachel hesitated and Shelby didn't even ask why, "I'll wait right here for you darling, I won't move from this spot."

"Promise?" Rachel whispered quietly.

Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead, "I promise you daring that I will be right here when you come back."

Once they were in Rachel's room Anne sat on the bed with Rachel, "how do you feel about living here?" she asked.

"I, I like it" Rachel said quietly, focusing on her hands and not the woman sat beside her, "I've not know my mom for long but she seems really nice, she holds me and doesn't shout at me wehn I cry, she says she'll never hit me, she didn't even get mad when I hurt her."

Anne frowned, "how did you hurt her?"

"I kicked her in the stomach" Rachel looked ashamed, "I was having a nightmare and she was trying to calm me down but I kicked her."

"Was it an accident?"

Rachel nodded, "I didn't, she wasn't going to tell me but she stretched and I saw the bruise. She said I shouldn't worry about it but, she's been so kind to me and I hurt her."

"It was an accident Rachel, and if your mom isn't worried about it then I don't think you need to worry either."

They spoke for a while and Anne asked Rachel several questions about her fathers, "I'm sorry" Rachel whispered as tears began to roll down her cheeks, "I can't...I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Anne smiled sadly she'd already seen the police report, there was no need for her to push the girl too far, "how about we go back down to your Mom?"

Rachel nodded and Shelby wrapped her in her arms as soon as she saw the girl, "Oh darling" She held Rachel on her lap rocking her slowly to comfort her as she spoke to Anne.

Anne could see the love in Shelby's eyes as she tried to soothe the girl and she knew she would have no doubts about signing Rachel into Shelby's care, she'd been in her job for longer than she cared to remember, she'd seen families who acted like everything was perfect, parents pretending they hadn't beaten their kids black and blue, right through to parents who loved their children with all their hearts, parents who wanted nothing but the best for her children and she was sure Shelby was one of the latter, "That's everything for now" she told both mother and daughter, Shelby I just need your signature on a couple of papers to make everything official."

"Rachel baby" Shelby wiped at Rachel's tears, "I need to sign a couple of things, can you sit beside me for a minute?" Rachel nodded and slipped to the seat beside Shelby, who took the pen from Anne in her right hand, leaving her left firmly entwined with Rachel's.

Shelby had no idea how she was going to cope when Rachel went back to school, she hated leaving her side, she'd taken a shower that evening, the fastest shower she'd ever had, just because she didn't want to be away from Rachel for too long. Usually she'd shower in the morning but she didn't want Rachel to wake alone, she never wanted the girl to think another of her parents had left.

It wasn't even 9 when Shelby climbed into her bed beside Rachel who was already snuggled up in the duvet reading a book from Shelby's book case, "what are you reading?" she asked as she tried to see the well worn cover, slightly hidden by the sheets.

"The Railway Children."

Shelby smiled, "I love that book, I think it's one of my favourites."

Rachel returned the smile, "I, that's why I chose it" she admitted, "it looked like it had been read more than the rest."

"I'm surprised it's not fallen apart" Shelby smiled as she felt Rachel lean into her, "do you like reading?"

Rachel nodded, "I used to spend a lot of my lunchtimes in the library, I didn't, I couldn't take them home."

"Well" Shelby kissed Rachel's head and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "tomorrow we can go online and order a book case for your bedroom and then we can start looking for some books to fill it with. If you enjoy that" Shelby gestured to the book in Rachel's hands, "I'll buy you your own copy."

Rachel shook her head, "no, no, you can't do that, you've already done too much."

Shelby kissed Rachel again, "it's a couple of books baby, if you enjoy reading I'll buy you books, it's no problem, I don't mind."

"You, I, you've already bought me so much".

"Oh darling" Shelby sighed, "if I'd have been in your life from the beginning I'd have spent a lot more on you than I have these past few days. From now on you're going to have everything you need and probably everything you want, now get reading that book, I want to tell you all my favourite parts without worrying that you've not read that far yet" she smiled.

"What are you going to do while I'm reading?" Rachel asked shyly, "we can just go to sleep if you want."

Shelby shook her head, "if you want to read a little while longer then I'm happy just to sit here snuggling with my daughter, as long as you're not up until 3am reading then I'm okay for you to stay up for a while longer." Rachel read for almost half an hour before closing the book and placing it beside the bed, "done?" Shelby asked. Rachel nodded and Shelby flicked off the light, "good night darling."

They lied in silence for a while before Rachel spoke, "Will you, will you tell me?" she asked softly as she laid against Shelby in the dark, "about the day I was born? My, my fathers never liked talking about you" she admitted almost silently, "I asked about you once when I was younger, that, that was when daddy first used his belt."

"Oh baby" Shelby sighed, pulling Rachel towards her and kissing her forehead, "I'm so sorry." She was glad that, even though they'd lived together for less than a week, Rachel was slowly beginning to open up to her, even if she did hate the things she heard.

"I think they hated that I looked like you and not either of them" Rachel thought out loud, "maybe then they might have loved me."

"I know its awful darling, but if they hadn't treated you so badly I might never have gotten to meet you. I know you might not see it now, but one day you will, everything they did to you will only make you a stronger person in the long run". Rachel sighed but said nothing so Shelby took that as her cue to begin the story Rachel wanted to hear, "it was a horrible winter, I'd been feeling a little off for a few days but I couldn't really put my finger on what wasn't right. Your fathers and I were watching a movie when the snow took the power out. Hiram lit some candles and Leroy bought some blankets downstairs along with a wind up radio they had, the weather forecast predicted nothing but snow for over a week and I started to worry we wouldn't make it to the hospital. I woke up that night and I was so ill I honestly didn't think I'd ever leave the bathroom. To put it politely I was sat on the toilet being sick in the bath, but we'd had curry for dinner, we thought it might hurry you up, so I just assumed that had made me ill, I finally managed to fall asleep again and when I woke up I was having contractions. I told Hiram and Leroy and Leroy called the hospital, even though my contractions weren't all that regular, they said with the weather I should probably try and make my way in. We'd done practice runs and the most it had ever taken us to get to the hospital was 45 minutes but it took us over three hours. By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were almost unbearable and I was convinced that if I stood up from the car you'd just fall out, it felt like you were right there but it turns out you weren't" she laughed slightly, "They put me in a room on the delivery ward and almost as soon as I laid on the bed to be examined my contractions stopped. The snow got much worse that night so I think you were making sure you were born in the hospital. I had contractions on and off for the next two days but nothing seemed to be happening so the doctor broke my waters and then" Shelby had to blink back tears, "then you were born. It happened so quickly, you were born 28 minutes after my waters were broken. I'd hoped, all along I'd hoped I'd get to have a moment with you, just a minute so I could tell you I loved you and say goodbye but it didn't happen, Hiram held you, Leroy held you and then they took you off to the corner to clean you up and check you over. I, I was a mess, I was sobbing, crying for you and for just one second you turned your head and looked at me but then they took you away, they took you away and I knew I'd never see you again." Tears were rolling down Shelby's cheek into Rachel's hair as she admitted, "I was so hysterical after they took you away that I had to be sedated. I never held you, I didn't even know your name, but in that one second when you looked me in the eye I knew I'd never love anyone half as much as I loved you."

Shelby's shirt was soaked through with Rachel's tears "I, I, I"

Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she sobbed, and Shelby rubbed her back, "shh, you're okay baby, I've got you, you're okay, you're okay."

Rachel calmed down a little before saying what she wanted to say, "I wish I'd known you, I wish they'd have let you be there."

"Me too darling but there's nothing we can do that will change that, I'm here now though, I'm here now and I'm always going to be there, whenever you need me and even when you don't, I'll be there, that's what we need to focus on sweetheart. I called my mom when I came round from being sedated. It took her four hours to get to the hospital because of the snow and she stayed on the phone listening to me cry the whole time. My mom was always there for me no matter what she thought of my actions. She knew all along that I'd regret giving you away, I didn't listen but she was still there for me when I needed her and I plan on being there for you sweetheart."

"Do, do you regret me?" Rachel asked, her voice shaking as she failed to stop herself crying.

"No" Shelby didn't even wait for Rachel to finish her question, "never. I regret signing the contract saying I wouldn't contact you, I've regretted that every day but I have never, never regretted having you."

"I, I, I'm sorry Momma" Rachel sobbed, "I'm sorry"

"Oh darling, you've got nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all." Shelby pulled Rachel onto her so she was laying on the woman's stomach, "you're okay" she rubbed at Rachel's back, "you're okay."

"No" Rachel whimpered as she found herself in the same position she'd woken up in the morning before, "no, I'll hurt you."

"No you wont" Shelby tried to reassure her.

"But, your stomach."

"Is fine" she lied, "I'm more worried about you sweetheart. Take some deep breaths, you're okay darling, you're okay, Momma's got you, I've got you." She rubbed circles on Rachel's back as she tried to calm the girl down.

Hearing Shelby call herself Momma only made Rachel sob harder and bury her face in Shelby's chest, her left hand gripping tightly to Shelby's shirt. Rachel had spent her whole life dreaming that she had her Momma, someone to hold her and comfort her and now she had that she was overwhelmed by it all, it was almost too much for her to cope with. "You're okay darling, you're okay." Shelby felt Rachel shake as she sobbed and began to think about the anti anxiety meds sat in the bathroom cabinet before shaking her head, she wanted to try and calm Rachel down herself, she needed Rachel to know that she was always there, not that she was going to drug the girl every time she got upset. She began humming softly as she rubbed Rachel's back before she began to sing quietly to try and settle her.

Rachel began to sob harder, "I'm sorry Momma, I'm so sorry" she gasped between sobs, "I'm sorry."

Shelby didn't reply, she knew telling Rachel she had nothing to be sorry for wouldn't help so she just continued rubbing circles on Rachel's back and singing softly, holding her daughter close until she cried herself to sleep in Shelby's arms.

"Hey" Shelby smiled as she saw Rachel begin to wake the next morning, "how are you feeling?" she asked as she brushed a stray lock of hair back from Rachel's face.

"Okay thank you" she whispered quietly, "I'm sorry about last night."

"It's okay darling, I'm just glad you feel like you can talk to me about things, I don't want you to ever worry about telling me anything, you never have to hide how you feel from me darling."

"Thank you"

"You don't need to thank me darling, it's okay." They laid in silence for a while, Rachel still laid on Shelby's chest, "I was thinking, after you fell asleep last night, you're back at school on Monday and, even though I wont be working any more we're not going to be able to spend as much time together, so I thought maybe we could do something this weekend, I thought we could maybe wrap up warm and go to the zoo or something, if you felt up to it I could ask Amy if she wanted to come with Lily and Max, or we could go just the two of us, whatever you want."

"Would, would Jimmy come?"

"I guess so, if you want Amy to come with the kids but not Jim then I'll talk to her, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Rachel shook her head, "I, you said he doesn't see them all week, it's not fair if I made him miss out on seeing them."

"He wouldn't mind Honey, and he's had an extra day off this week, he might be glad of the rest. We could go on Sunday Jim's driving back to Chicago so he'll probably be leaving around lunchtime, we could go in the morning, have some time together just the two of us and then meet Amy, Lily and Max after lunch and spend the afternoon with them. It's just an idea though, we don't have to go anywhere, we can stay in and watch movies all weekend if you'd rather?"

Rachel shook her head, "I, I'd like to go out I think"

Shelby smiled and held Rachel tighter, "we'll sort something, we'll have a great day baby. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be a theme here, but I imagine Jimmy to be played by James Snyder.


	10. Chapter 10

"I called your guidance counsellor" Shelby told Rachel on Friday morning, "Miss...Hill, Hillsby is it?"

"Miss, Miss Pillsbury" Rachel whispered, correcting her fathers only ever got her a beating.

"Oh yeah" Shelby smiled, "that's it, she's going to see us after school gets out, I said we'd be there a little after three, if you don't mind I'd like to tell her a little about why you're living here, we only have to tell her as much as you're comfortable with, but I'd like to think there's someone you can go to when I'm not around, however, I am going to make it absolutely clear that I want you to be able to call me whenever you feel you need to. I don't want you to think I'm just saying that either, if you feel like you need me then call me, I don't mind if you're just between classes and you want me to tell you I love you, I don't mind if it's the last class of the day and you're tired and want to leave an hour early."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "thanks". She really did appreciate all the effort Shelby was going to but there was no way Rachel would call Shelby in the middle of the day, the woman had already been put out enough.

"Is there anything in particular you want to do today? I don't want to sound like a boring Mom but do you have any homework? I didn't see any school books in the bag you bought with you."

"I, my school books are in my locker, I did my homework at school, I took a math book home once and my dad threw it on the fire and then spanked me when the school sent a letter home saying I hadn't returned it. I had to do extra chores to pay them back for replacing it. I'm up to date in all my classes though, you can call my teachers to check or ask Miss Pillsbury to pull up my grades for you to see."

"Darling" Shelby placed her hand between Rachel's shoulder blade, "take a deep breath, I wasn't getting at you I just wanted to make sure you didn't have any work to do. If you say you're up to date then I believe you."

Rachel frowned, "you, you believe me?"

"Of course" Shelby decided not to make a big deal out of it, "so what do you want to do today?"

"I, I don't mind"

Shelby smiled, "well I did have a couple of ideas. I thought we could maybe go down in the basement and go through my sheet music, find something we could sing together"

Rachel's face lit up, "really?"

Shelby nodded and kissed her forehead, she couldn't stop touching Rachel, it was like she constantly needed to reassure herself that this was real, this was her life now, "really. Then I thought we could go out for a walk, get some fresh air, see if we could find somewhere nice for lunch and then I know a couple of good bookstores I thought we could visit, start building you your collection."

"Momma" Rachel almost whimpered.

"What's wrong baby?" Shelby pulled her close, "if you'd rather do something else you just have to say, I really wont mind."

"It, no one's ever planned a day for me like that, not one that I'd enjoy."

"Sweetheart" Shelby kissed Rachel again, "this is going to be the first of many I promise."

It was a little before midday when Shelby and Rachel finally came up from the basement, it had been the most fun Rachel had had in years, she loved to sing but her fathers always complained about the noise and there was no way they'd have paid for piano lessons again, not after she'd hit awrong note during a recital. They'd sung several songs together, most Shelby had suggested but after a while Rachel had become more comfortable and made some suggestions of her own.

"Where do you want to go for lunch?" Shelby asked as she handed Rachel her coat.

"I don't mind."

"Well what would you like to eat? Hot or cold?"

"I'm not really that hungry."

Shelby smiled, Rachel always said she wasn't hungry but Shelby still made sure she ate something, "I know a great little sandwich shop but the portions are huge we could share a sandwich and some fries if you'd like?"

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "that sounds good."

Shelby picked up her bag, "okay, but seeing as I decided where we were going, you can decide what we eat when we get there."

Before Rachel knew it, she and Shelby were walking through the school parking lot, she'd played it safe at lunch, opting for a chicken salad sandwich, Shelby had been right, the portions were huge, even half a sandwich and a few fries was more than Rachel could manage. Once she'd eaten as much as she could they left the sandwich shop and they trawled through several bookshops and bought far more books than Rachel was comfortable with letting Shelby buy, but now they were here, at the school and Rachel was terrified.

"Hey Rachel" Emma greeted the student as she walked into the office, "take a seat, you must be Miss Corcoran" she held out her hand for Shelby to shake, "it's a pleasure to meet you."

Shelby shook Emma's hand before taking the seat beside Rachel, "please, it's Shelby"

Emma nodded, "so how can I help you?"

"As you probably know, Rachel now lives with me, there were some 'issues' with her fathers. I trust anything said here is in the strictest of confidence?" Emma nodded and Shelby glanced at Rachel, "are you sure you're okay with this?" Rachel nodded and Shelby continued explaining to Emma, "I was the surrogate Rachel's fathers used, they left her on my doorstep last Friday with nothing but a few outfits and a note saying they'd gone to Florida and they'd signed papers putting Rachel into my custody." She paused again to check Rachel was okay and saw the girl had her head bowed, her hair covering her face so she reached out to squeeze her hand gently, "we've started talking things through, and Rachel has an appointment with a therapist on Thursday but I think she's still trying to adjust. Her fathers" Shelby took a deep breath, "her fathers weren't the most caring of men and we're working on showing you that how they treated you isn't how parents are meant to treat their children aren't we?"

Rachel nodded and whispered "yeah".

"I guess I just need to be sure she's going to have some sort of support system here."

Emma nodded, "of course, of course. We could set up some one to one meetings if you'd like?" She asked Rachel, "maybe once a week, do you think that would help?"

"I, I don't know" Rachel whispered

"Lets give it a try" Emma reached for her diary, "I've got a lot of meetings scheduled on Monday, but I could meet with you second period on Tuesday?"

Rachel nodded, "okay."

"I'm a little bit worried about Rachel being overwhelmed, she erm, well we've spent a lot of time cuddling and crying together. Is there any way she could leave class if things get too much for her?"

Emma nodded, "I'll write her a pass, if you think you need a break then you can either come and have a chat with me or go lie in the nurses office if you'd prefer peace and quiet. You aren't limited to only coming to see me when you have an appointment okay? You can come and see me whenever you feel you need to. If I'm with another student, knock on the door so I know you're here and then take a seat outside and I'll see you as soon as I can."

Rachel nodded, "Thank you"

"She has some anti anxiety meds" Shelby told Emma as she took the bottle of pills from her bag, she needs to take one if she has a panic attack but I'd like someone to try talking to her to try and calm her down before she takes a pill, we've managed without them so far but I'd like her to have some here just in case."

Emma nodded, "of course, of course, I'd always try to calm her down first."

Shelby nodded, "I'd like to be called if she takes a pill, I'd also like Rachel to be able to call me if she feels like she needs to."

"Of course" Emma agreed, "I'll let the office staff know and then if you want to call your Mom you can either go to the main office and ask to use the phone or you can come in here if you'd like a little more privacy" she gestured to the phone on her desk, "that's not a problem at all."

Shelby turned to Rachel, "I don't want you to feel like we're just saying you can do these things Rachel, we mean it, if you need to take a break or you want to call me then please, please don't feel like you can't."

Rachel nodded again, "okay."

Emma bit her lip for a moment before she spoke, "I don't know if you think this might help, but we could bring Rachel back to school gradually, just a couple of days a week at first and work up to a full week when you feel ready?" She could tell Rachel was nervous about returning to school and thought giving her time to readjust might help.

"What do you think darling?" Shelby asked Rachel.

Rachel sighed, she was terrified about going back to school but she'd already been too much of a burden to Shelby, the woman didn't need her around all the time, she'd probably be glad of the break. "I, I think I'll be okay."

Shelby wasn't so sure, "how about we see how it goes on Monday and then take it from there" she suggested, "you've been taking a lot of naps this past week, I don't want you to push yourself too far too fast."

Emma agreed with Shelby, "that sounds good, maybe you could come sit in on our meeting on Tuesday morning" she looked to Rachel, "if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "that's fine

"I'd like to give you this too" Shelby reached into her bag and pulled out a small piece of paper, "it's the name and contact number for the social worker who's helping us with the custody stuff, Rachel didn't feel like she could tell anyone about how her fathers were treating her and whilst I will never ever hurt her intentionally, I'd like you to take this, just in case you ever have any worries about Rachel's well being."

Emma took the card from Shelby, "thank you, I'll put it in Rachel's file but I'm sure I won't ever have need for it".

"Thank you" Shelby smiled, "now I know it's a bit late in the year, but Rachel and I were wondering if she'd still be able to join any after school clubs?"

"I'm sure she would" Emma turned her attention to Rachel, "did you have any particular clubs in mind?"

Rachel shook her head, she should probably find something to do every day after school, Shelby wouldn't want her hanging around the house all the time.

"You said you like singing and dancing" Shelby prompted before turning to Emma, "do you have a glee club?"

Almost as if on cue Will tapped gently on the glass of Emma's office door, "sorry to interrupt" he smiled as he poked his head around the door, "I just wanted to let you know I'm done, I'm going to grab a coffee and wait for you in the staffroom" he told Emma before smiling at Rachel, "Hey Rach"

"Hi" Rachel mumbled back quietly.

Emma smiled at her fiancé, "you must have been listening in" she joked, "we were just talking about the glee club, "Shelby this is Will Schuester our glee coach, Will this is Shelby Corcoran, Rachel's mother."

"Pleased to meet you" Will held out his hand, "I've heard a lot about you at show choir meets."

Shelby laughed, "none of it good I expect."

"All those national championships speak for themselves. What you did obviously worked."

Shelby laughed again, "I guess so, I've given it up now though, I want to spend my spare time with my own teenager."

"Rachel's been thinking about joining some after school clubs, Shelby thought she might like Glee" Emma explained.

Will nodded, "we're a friendly bunch" he smiled "we've got a practice on Wednesday if you'd like to join us" he could sense Rachel was nervous, "you don't have to join in if you don't want to, you can just sit in and see if you think it's for you."

"How about it Rach?" Shelby asked, she knew Rachel wasn't comfortable around people she didn't know, "If Mr Schuester doesn't mind I could join you too, share my expertise."

Will nodded, "yeah, that'd be great, I think the kids are getting sick of my song choices, some fresh ideas might be just what we need."

"How about it darling?" Shelby pulled Rachel close, "shall we join the glee club?"

"There's no pressure" Will said softly making Emma smile with pride, "and you'll be welcomed with open arms even if you just sit and watch, we're not really doing any practice anyway, we just won our sectionals competition and we're not going to start rehearsing for regionals until after the holidays so you've picked a perfect time to join." He saw Rachel still looked unsure, "talk it over with your Mom, there's no need to make a decision right now" he said with a smile, "I'll leave you ladies in peace" he winked at Emma and shook Shelby's hand again before saying goodbye to Rachel and leaving the room.

"Are you excited about tomorrow?" Shelby asked, rolling over and wrapping her arms around Rachel as they laid in bed that night.

"A little."

"I can tell" Shelby smiled, "you've been fidgeting for almost an hour."

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered, "I'll go sleep in my own bed."

"No you wont" Shelby said, her grip on Rachel tightening slightly, "it's kind of cute, I always imagined you'd be one of those kids who couldn't sleep at Christmas because they were too excited. Then again I imagined your fathers dressing up as Santa, ringing sleighbells and spoiling you rotten." Rachel sighed, "I love you" Shelby told her, "having ants in your pants wont change that, and I know for sure Amy wont tell Lily that she's going to the zoo until they're in the car otherwise she'd be exactly the same, now come on" she rolled onto her back pulling Rachel to lie on top of her, "close your eyes and try and sleep, I don't want you to be too tired in the morning.

Rachel tried to hide her excitement the next morning, she didn't want to annoy Shelby but she didn't want to wait, she hadn't been to the zoo since she was in kindergarten, she wanted to be there now, she wanted to see everything but at the same time she didn't want Shelby to think she was spoilt or demanding.

"How about we go to the butterfly house?" Shelby suggested as they studied a map of the zoo, "I know Lily will probably want to go again when she gets here, but she gets a bit impatient after a while, we could just sit and watch them for a while."

Rachel smiled, "yeah, that sounds good." They walked inside the whitewashed building and Rachel's mouth dropped open as she stepped through the mesh curtain that hung in the doorway to stop the butterflies escaping, "wow".

"It's beautiful right?" Rachel only nodded as she slipped her hand into her mothers and together they slowly walked along the path, pausing now and again to look at the butterflies as they lounged amongst the plants.

"Momma" Rachel gasped quietly a few minutes later as they sat on a bench together, watching the butterflies darting around, "Momma look". Shelby turned to find a white butterfly sat on Rachel's thigh and, without Rachel noticing, she took a picture on her phone of Rachel smiling. She'd never get sick of seeing that smile, "That was amazing" Rachel grinned as the butterfly finally flew off, "it landed right on my leg Mom."

"I know" Shelby smiled, "I saw."

They were sat in the cafe after lunch when Amy rang Shelby to find out where they were, "Rae" Lily grinned from where she was sat, wrapped warmly her buggy.

"Hey" Shelby hugged Amy before ruffling Max's hair, "how you feeling tough guy?"

"I'm fine" Max pushed Shelby's hand from his head, "stop fussing Auntie Lelly, you're worse than Mommy."

"Sorry" Shelby laughed before pulling him into a hug and covering him in kisses.

"Mooooom" Max whined, "make her stop."

"Sorry kid" Amy laughed, "she's my big sister, I can't make her do anything." She saw Rachel standing cautiously behind Shelby, "you must be Rachel."

"No Momma, My Rae" Lily corrected from her buggy.

"Sorry" Amy smiled, "you must be Lily's Rae. I'm Amy, you know Lil and that's Max" she gestured to the boy still trying to get Shelby to let him go.

"I, it's a pleasure to meet you" Rachel said shyly before holding out a stiff arm for Amy to shake.

Amy looked at Rachel's hand for a split second before holding open her arms, "I'd rather welcome you to the family with a hug." By now Shelby had stopped smothering Max and was holding his hand, waiting to see how Rachel would react and the woman couldn't help but smile as Rachel slowly stepped into Amy's arms, "it's great to finally meet you" Amy whispered as she hugged Rachel tightly.

"Momma" Lily's voice broke up the embrace between Aunt and Niece, "Momma, I want to see the 'raffes."

"I know you do baby, and we will see them, I promise."

"What noise do 'raffes make Momma."

Amy unstrapped Lily from her buggy, "how about you go ask Auntie Lelly."

"Okay" Lilly grinned as she jumped from the buggy and ran over to Shelby, "An'Lelly , An'Lelly, what noise do 'raffes make? Momma said you'd tell me."

"She did did she?" Shelby glared at her sister, "how about we go see the girrafes and you can hear what noise they make for yourself."

"Can we see the lions?" Max asked Amy after they'd spent a while by the giraffe enclosure.

"We can" Amy told him, "but I think Rachel should choose where we go next, this is her day out." She turned to look to Rachel, "what do you want to see?" she asked.

"I don't mind" Rachel said softly, "we can go see the lions."

"The lions will still be there later" Amy said as she passed Rachel the map she had on top of the buggy, "you choose something."

Rachel studied the map for a moment, "I'd like to see the elephants" she finally deided.

"Okay" Amy guessed Rachel wanted to spend some time alone with Shelby so she called Lily over, "come jump in" she said as she held open the straps on the buggy, "we don't want you getting worn out before we've seen anything do we."

"No Momma, I no be tired" Lily grinned, kissing Amy as she was strapped in.

"Max" Amy called next, passing the boy the map of the zoo, "think you can show us where the elephants are Kiddo?"

"Yep" he nodded, "come on Mommy, Auntie Lelly, Rachel, follow me."

"Hey" Shelby wrapped her arm around Rachel as they began to walk a little behind Amy, Lily and Max, "you okay?"

Rachel nodded, "yes thank you."

"If it gets too much for you you just have to say, Amy wount mind taking the kids off somewhere for a while."

"I'm okay" Rachel reassured her mother, "they're not really what I expected, I guess I thought they'd be a little louder."

"They're good kids" Shelby told her, "but if you do need a break then promise you'll say something, no one will be offended."

They'd been at the zoo for several hours when Shelby noticed Rachel starting to lag behind, "are you getting tired?" she asked quietly, Rachel nodded, "want to go home?"

Rachel shook her head, "I don't want to spoil the ..."

"You're not spoiling anything darling, just because we go doesn't mean Amy and her kids have to go home too. You're back at school tomorrow, you don't want to be too tired to get up."

Rachel nodded, "okay."

"Amy" Shelby called her sister over, "we're going to get off, Rachel's getting tired."

Amy smiled, "she's not the only one" she nodded her head towards the buggy where Lily's eyes were almost closed.

"I no tired Momma." Lily frowned.

"Let's go to the gift shop" Amy suggested, "then we can head home."

"I don't want to go home" Max whined

"We're going home Max or Lily will start to get grumpy and then we won't have fun. We can come back another day, maybe when it's a bit warmer yeah."

Max sighed, "Okay Mommy."

"Good boy" Amy ruffled his hair, "let's go see what we can get at the gift shop."

Amy insisted on spoiling Rachel in the gift shop, she wouldn't let Shelby buy anything for her daughter, and although it took a lot of persuading for Rachel to choose something, she eventually left clutching a large stuffed elephant, a book about butterflies and an elephant mug where the trunk of the elephant formed the handle of the mug. Shelby had noticed Rachel's fascination with elephants and slipped away from the rest of her family, picking up several items for Rachel's birthday and Christmas, she managed to slip her gift bag under Lily's buggy without Rachel noticing, she'd get it back from Amy another time, maybe when Rachel was at school. She'd never had to find hiding places for presents before and the fact that now she had a reason to hide gifts excited her, Rachel didn't know about the storage under the seat in the armchair, and small gifts could be hidden in the piano bench. Shelby knew she'd have to make a list so she didn't forget where anything was hidden.

The evening passed far too quickly for Rachel's liking, and before she knew it she was laid in bed watching Shelby set the alarm, "I'm going to get up at seven to shower" she told Rachel, "do you want to get up with me or would you rather I woke you up when I got out so you can have an extra 15/20 minutes sleep?"

"I, I had to leave my fathers house at 7.30" Rachel confessed, "you live even further away."

Shelby frowned, "what time do you have to be at school?"

"8.30"

"Okay" Shelby nodded, "it's about 20 minutes to McKinley from here so we can leave at eight, is that okay?"

"You, you're going to take me to school?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "I can drop you off around the corner if you're embarassed by me"

"No" Rachel shook her head, "no, it's not that, I just assumed I'd still have to walk."

"God no" Shelby answered straight away, "I'm not letting you walk miles in the freezing cold, beside that it'll probably still be dark. I'll drop you off and I'll be there to bring you home too and if I can't pick you up one day for whatever reason I'll get Amy or my Mom to be there. I know it's hard for you to get used to but all you're going to get from me and my family is love."

"Thank you"

Shelby placed the alarm clock back on the table and flicked off the light, "there's no need to thank me baby, now close your eyes and get some rest. I love you."

Rachel allowed herself to be pulled into her mother's warm embrace, "I love you too."

"Have a good day darling" Shelby leant over and kissed Rachel's temple as she pulled up outside the school the next morning, "I'll see you later."

"You'll be here?" Rachel asked for the third time sine she'd woken.

"Unless you call me and ask me to come get you I'll be here at 3.30 waiting for you to come out I promise."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "See you later."

"I love you"

Rachel smiled, "I love you too" she whispered shyly as she left the car, pausing to wave to her mother before walking into the building.

The doors had barely had time to close behind Rachel when she felt the cold sting of coloured ice hitting her face, "we missed you last week manhands. Had to find another target" some random hockey players laughed before hi-fiving each other and throwing the empty cups over their shoulders at Rachel as they walked off down the corridor. Rachel felt her breakfast shift in her stomach, she was wearing brand new clothes. Her life was officially over. Shelby was going to kill her.


End file.
